This time of year

This time of year looks nice. It's sunny and all that, sure. But I have a new appreciation for something new, probably exclusive to my room. At around 7pm, the sky turns really blue to the point where it gives things a tint, and it comes in through my window and looks nice. I also turn on my lamp (cos it's a little dark) and then the yellow mixes with the blue and yeah. Then I play guitar. This has pretty much been my routine for this week, and it's pretty enjoyable. Atmosphere does make a difference.

Despite this, this time of the year always saddens me... I have a longing for it to keep going on. The thing is, I constantly feel like I have unfinished business. I feel like I haven't done what I should have where I am, I feel like I haven't done what I should have with who I'm with. And to have it be forced away from you, man, it upsets me. It's like giving up on a painting you've been tweaking for the past 4 years, or something. I'm not sure how long it would take with me staying where I am to feel like I've done all I can; maybe it'd never come. Maybe it's just something about the way my mind works that prevents me from moving away from things easily.

But sometimes it's good to just step back and call it a day. Or a year, or 4.

Time, you're kind of a bitch

The worst thing about making lists is how they can completely change within a month or 2. Despite that, I'm writing another one. I call it "Top 10 Things". It is the top 10 best things that exist on this Earth (or have existed, I guess).

Here are some links, because I'm tired of staying in the dark:

Facebook fan page for my music (would definitely appreciate you joining)

Um, what else to link that's related to me? I guess there isn't anything.

Alien Blogato: A Short History

I've been neglecting this thing probably more than ever, so it's time to write.

I've realised that I spend a hell of a lot of time documenting things in my life (this blog is just one of the many methods.) But it's weird how much I can write and get from the smallest of things. I'm probably marvelling more at how verbose I can be sometimes. I spent about 60% of this blog just talking about music and art, and it was usually the same subjects about both. I think me wanting to steer away from getting repetitive is keeping me from writing, and I also used to be a lot more open in this thing when I knew that only Anthony and Dom read it.

But about documenting stuff... I have a fear, or well, a massive "want" to not forget anything in my life, no matter how small. Weird eh? That isn't the reason I started blogging though, I think I started (this was on MySpace by the way, in 2006) because Anthony was doing his daily blogs. But it was sometime in 2008 when I was reading over those old entries, and there were so many memories that I'd just completely forgotten about. Reading them all was so much fun, nostalgic etc. I guess that made me just want to continue, though I've definitely had a massive shift in tone over the years. I think this was brought on by when I thought all my MySpace friends read my blog, to when I thought basically no one read it. It turned into less of a diary of what I did, into what I thought. I guess it's just nice to remember that each day isn't a meaningless blur, and things actually happened.

Short history of this thing. Quite weird that it's almost been up 2 1/2 years now.

I have made another song

Time Had Found Us. It's a folk song this time.

Sorry for the pathetic update. Proper blogs will come soon.

Things that suck

When you're angry at people who've done absolutely nothing wrong, and you know they've done nothing wrong. It just sucks. You kind of have to hide that you're angry, because you know that there's no excuse for it. It's just...being completely unhappy with a situation, but you can't blame a situation. They don't exist, in a tangible way. So you have to blame someone, but all the people involved haven't done anything wrong. Then why is everything so fucking not right?

Sorry for being mega vague. I just hadn't blogged in a while so...I guess it's something. I should also add that I feel mega uncomfortable having this blog advertised on my Facebook and msn display name now, so I will be removing them. I mean, it was nice when all I wrote about was music, but I feel I can't write about myself anymore.

Public Transport Heroes

I'm not usually one to call people heroes, but I'm not usually one to write about heroes either. Let's begin!

Guy 1

Chain smoking man who looks like the bum from The Simpsons who actually created Itchy and Scratchy, though he doesn't actually look like he's homeless. Once came up to me and said "Everyone's dead, aren't they?" and I replied with "I guess so", to which he thanked me and put his hand on my shoulder before walking off. He pretty much walks in circles while waiting for the bus, and everyone ignores him, so I think he appreciates it when people don't. He's usually complaining about something no one really understands, as in literally it'd be like "the bus doesn't care about us" and things like that.

Guy 2

Probably my favourite one of all. He's deaf, looks about 50, and always pulls this face:

He usually greets me by poking his head in front of my face, then backing off and out stretching a hand, which I shake. He also usually tells me to take off my headphones by signalling him pulling something out of his ear, which I used to then follow, but now I just keep them on because he's deaf so he never talks or anything anyway. But yeah, the first time meeting him, he sat next to me on the bus, did the usual stuff except that when he got off, he rubbed my neck to say goodbye. So far all these bus people seem to like rubbing necks and shoulders and things.

Guy 3

This guy isn't actually a bus person, therefore there's no rubbing involved (that's my conclusion anyway). I met him on the train, and he said in a very loud and slightly slurred voice (maybe drunk) "Alright man? Nice hair cut" and I replied with "thanks". He then said to me "heading Victoria?", to which I replied "Yeah uh, this train's going to Caterham". This is funny cos it's like...complete opposite directions. It's like getting north and south mixed up. When I'd revealed that to him, he said "I hate Caterham.", but stayed where he was.

He then kept talking to me, and I had to keep taking my headphones off etc. He asked me if there was a Sainsburys near where I was going, and I said "I'm not sure, but there's a Tesco", and that seemed to anger him for some reason. He got off without saying bye.

:'(

On a final note I get frustrated seeing really beautiful girls on public transport on the way home or whatever. I dunno, there's something about the fact that I probably won't ever see them again that saddens me, which is very weird. Must be some weird instinct, I'm not really sure. Oops.

Other News

My first gig, a Beatles cover gig on a barge, is finally underway. Whoa, a Facebook event page. It's gonna be pretty cool and stuff, and everyone should come. Well, not everyone...that'd suck. We'd probably all die.

It's just a part of me, I guess

Note: this blog was originally written on the 11th of October 2009, but I just found it recently and it's quite coherent, so here you go:

So I've been listening to and watching some great stand up routines recently. A lot of George Carlin, and Bill Hicks's stand up album "Rant in E minor" (courtesy of Bown). Extremely funny and clever stuff, even if I don't agree with everything said, it's just so well delivered and makes me think. It's weird, because "comedy" and "making me think" aren't usually things that I associate with each other; I usually watch comedy with intentions opposite to this (just to relax myself and laugh a lot, etc).

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this, but the thing is that I realised (note: I have known this for a long time) that both Bill Hicks and George Carlin are dead.

What the hell is it with me and dead people?

I sometimes wonder if I'm just naturally attracted to dead entertainers, but this isn't the case because half of the dead entertainers of all kinds that I love, I didn't know were dead when I got into them. This includes Elliott Smith, Nick Drake, Mute, Michael Jackson (because I liked him before he died). So I've concluded that: people that are destined to die just have better things to say. Actually, that's a shit conclusion, because everyone is destined to die (George Carlin wasn't exactly young when he died).

I guess it's just a coincidence, or it's just an unexplained part of me...


...

Or maybe, I'm a fan of many more living entertainers than dead ones, so fuck everything I've ever said.

This isn't a very good blog.