Here is a song from it.
Tuesday, 1 November 2011
Thursday, 9 June 2011
Vanishing Art
Warning: Another blog about art and its relation to death and loss! Sorry. I wouldn't say that those are the two things most on my mind, because they're not, but they are often motivators for me to write. I often write in weird solemn moods, which is another problem with my music. I can seem like such a sad sack, but it is because sadness for some reason leads to expression for me. But that is only within writing and music. It is usually feeling active or direct inspiration from something else that makes me want to draw or animate. That's kind of weird to me.
I just felt like writing what a tragedy it is that Elliott Smith died when he did. From a Basement on the Hill was probably his most interesting and inspired period of song writing and experimentation, and it's really horrible that it was never finished. The version released is a fragment, a rough stitching of a few incredible ideas. Then we have some of the amazing unreleased tracks from it: See You In Heaven, True Love, Stick Man.
But the version he was going to create, that kind of White Album inspired thing will never come to pass, most of the songs were never finished, and any concrete idea of what it could have been vanished when that knife went in his chest.
The thought of something like that being lost in an instant is definitely a powerful force in making me document my thoughts, art, music etc. Sometimes it is a comfort that something is within my brain and is mine and only mine. But I feel uncomfortable over the thought of it being lost.
I just felt like writing what a tragedy it is that Elliott Smith died when he did. From a Basement on the Hill was probably his most interesting and inspired period of song writing and experimentation, and it's really horrible that it was never finished. The version released is a fragment, a rough stitching of a few incredible ideas. Then we have some of the amazing unreleased tracks from it: See You In Heaven, True Love, Stick Man.
But the version he was going to create, that kind of White Album inspired thing will never come to pass, most of the songs were never finished, and any concrete idea of what it could have been vanished when that knife went in his chest.
The thought of something like that being lost in an instant is definitely a powerful force in making me document my thoughts, art, music etc. Sometimes it is a comfort that something is within my brain and is mine and only mine. But I feel uncomfortable over the thought of it being lost.
Friday, 27 May 2011
Art as expression
I'll start off first by talking about the motivation for this blog. I was reading about the context surrounding the album "Young Prayer" by Panda Bear. It was written and recorded in the room his father died in, and was written and recorded whilst his father was sick. It was made mostly for him to listen to, to know that his son was proud and grateful for having him as a dad. To quote him:
Maybe that's besides the point. Maybe it's just the fact that his son makes music and has kind of found himself and what he wants to do with his life, rather than the actual product. I guess that's cool. I guess it's just always the sentiment that's more important, "it's the thought that counts" etc.
I just wanted to write about that.
With Young Prayer, I wanted to tell him that he had taught me really well. I wanted to be like, ‘It’s been really good hanging out and learning from you, you’ve been a really good man and set a good example’.And this started making me think about hypothetically being in a similar situation. I've always been sort of nervous about using art as an expression directed at someone specific for them to hear, because they might not like or get it. What I mean as that for example with music, 90% of what I love and would like to create would just seem so alien to my parents, I think. The Panda Bear album that sparked this thought for example is mostly just him softly strumming a guitar while singing high falsetto notes with incomprehensible lyrics. It's beautiful to me, like meditation music. But if I made something similar for a dying parent, they really wouldn't appreciate it properly.
Maybe that's besides the point. Maybe it's just the fact that his son makes music and has kind of found himself and what he wants to do with his life, rather than the actual product. I guess that's cool. I guess it's just always the sentiment that's more important, "it's the thought that counts" etc.
I just wanted to write about that.
Monday, 14 March 2011
My Music
I have been wanting to make an album (or EP if I don't make enough stuff) this year, and am basically in the writing process. I'm kind of...half suffering writer's block, and half not. I have been having many ideas in my mind of the musical direction, structure of the record, the kind of songs and styles that would go together. But the actual y'know, writing, has been slow. I'm also not entirely sure whether to make it too much of a mish mash, even though it probably wouldn't end up like that unless I really was ambitious. But so far I plan for this to have a largely minimilist electronic sort of sound (think James Blake) with shoegaze guitars. That was my main thing I wanted to combine, aswell as writing instrumental piano pieces and even some classical guitar songs (very much inspired by Sun Kil Moon's latest album, which is beautiful).
The main problem I think I'm having, is that I am finding success writing the acoustic guitar based tracks, because it is a familiar outlet for me. But the main focus of what I wanted the album to be (the electronics + shoegaze mix) I am not really getting places as fast as I should. It's because it's all new to me, so that's fine, or would be if I didn't feel I have to get this done by September (university starts then) or just not get it done at all. It's quite tough, but I mean, recording music by yourself is never easy. I have only recorded 3 songs that I would call decent (and even then I'm not hugely proud of them) and now I'm expecting myself to write an album's worth?
Is this the problem? Should I take a less structured approach and just focus on the songs themselves, and just enjoy the experimentation and song writing without worrying about the amount produced? I'd answer yes, if I didn't feel I won't have an opportunity like this for a long time, maybe even ever again.
The main problem I think I'm having, is that I am finding success writing the acoustic guitar based tracks, because it is a familiar outlet for me. But the main focus of what I wanted the album to be (the electronics + shoegaze mix) I am not really getting places as fast as I should. It's because it's all new to me, so that's fine, or would be if I didn't feel I have to get this done by September (university starts then) or just not get it done at all. It's quite tough, but I mean, recording music by yourself is never easy. I have only recorded 3 songs that I would call decent (and even then I'm not hugely proud of them) and now I'm expecting myself to write an album's worth?
Is this the problem? Should I take a less structured approach and just focus on the songs themselves, and just enjoy the experimentation and song writing without worrying about the amount produced? I'd answer yes, if I didn't feel I won't have an opportunity like this for a long time, maybe even ever again.
Wednesday, 2 March 2011
2011
Hey, it's 2011 now. Has been for like 2 months, but I'm just mentioning this while looking at the date of my last blog. I don't know why I don't write as much, but it undoubtedly has something to do with the fact that I am often inspired to write while feeling low, and I've been in that weird limbo period between feeling low and feeling happy for a good while now. I think it's what most people feel like most of the time. It's that weird place of just being content, which means I am not sad or excited enough to want to create anything, which is bad for me. I guess it's mostly a good thing, but I kind of regret not documenting things. I pretty much haven't touched my diary since July, and when I did, it was pathetic. I tried on 3 different days to finish 1 entry, and got about 50 words done. So yeah, should probably start that up again.
Decided I am going to go to university next year, so I applied to do animation and have interviews for everywhere I applied, though some I am not going to go because I've already gotten into one of my top choices (they accepted day after interview which was nice). Not sure if this is interesting to anyone. I've voiced disappointment in the way my life is going in the past, the fact that I don't feel there is any university course that is worth persuing to do what I really want to do in life (even that is vague and uncertain, I just want to live off art of my own in any medium), but I think this is definitely for the best. Because it will be fun. It's a nice form of independence where you have semi long periods of living away from home, before going back there and alternating between the two and getting the best of both worlds.
This sure is a piece of shit blog. I can't write in this thing without feeling it's being read by people who I don't want to read it anymore. I don't know why that is. Looking back on old entries, I used to be stupidly honest. It's actually quite surprising how I would just write as if there wasn't a possibility of people reading it, but it's so much easier that way. You don't have to read over and say "I should include that". You just do. I need to start doing that again, but not here.
It seems that even though it's been a few months, I still don't know what to say. I guess my life isn't changing enough to make interesting words. Oh! I met Bown and Bibilo. That was a big thing for me, because I got to see that text on a screen actually exists IRL! I am wording that stupidly on purpose. But yeah, I never really liked writing what I do on this blog, rather than what I think, and I don't think I've changed much in that regard.
I plan to go into more detail of these in a separate blog soon (I guess a summary of 2010), but for now, here's 2 small lists:
Top Albums of 2010 (no order):
Janelle Monáe - The Arch Android
Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti - Before Today
Charlotte Gainsbourg - IRM
Arcade Fire - The Suburbs
Sleigh Bells - Treats
If I had to pick it would be The Arch Android for my favourite.
Still haven't checked out the latest Sun Kil Moon album though.
Albums I am liking so far of 2011 (no order):
Radiohead - The King of Limbs
James Blake - James Blake
Yuck - Yuck
If I had to pick...nah, too early to tell. All English albums so far!
Decided I am going to go to university next year, so I applied to do animation and have interviews for everywhere I applied, though some I am not going to go because I've already gotten into one of my top choices (they accepted day after interview which was nice). Not sure if this is interesting to anyone. I've voiced disappointment in the way my life is going in the past, the fact that I don't feel there is any university course that is worth persuing to do what I really want to do in life (even that is vague and uncertain, I just want to live off art of my own in any medium), but I think this is definitely for the best. Because it will be fun. It's a nice form of independence where you have semi long periods of living away from home, before going back there and alternating between the two and getting the best of both worlds.
This sure is a piece of shit blog. I can't write in this thing without feeling it's being read by people who I don't want to read it anymore. I don't know why that is. Looking back on old entries, I used to be stupidly honest. It's actually quite surprising how I would just write as if there wasn't a possibility of people reading it, but it's so much easier that way. You don't have to read over and say "I should include that". You just do. I need to start doing that again, but not here.
It seems that even though it's been a few months, I still don't know what to say. I guess my life isn't changing enough to make interesting words. Oh! I met Bown and Bibilo. That was a big thing for me, because I got to see that text on a screen actually exists IRL! I am wording that stupidly on purpose. But yeah, I never really liked writing what I do on this blog, rather than what I think, and I don't think I've changed much in that regard.
I plan to go into more detail of these in a separate blog soon (I guess a summary of 2010), but for now, here's 2 small lists:
Top Albums of 2010 (no order):
Janelle Monáe - The Arch Android
Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti - Before Today
Charlotte Gainsbourg - IRM
Arcade Fire - The Suburbs
Sleigh Bells - Treats
If I had to pick it would be The Arch Android for my favourite.
Still haven't checked out the latest Sun Kil Moon album though.
Albums I am liking so far of 2011 (no order):
Radiohead - The King of Limbs
James Blake - James Blake
Yuck - Yuck
If I had to pick...nah, too early to tell. All English albums so far!
Tuesday, 21 December 2010
Saturday, 23 October 2010
Tumblr, it's not your fault. It's who you hang around with.
STUFF ABOUT ME BEING ILL + MUSIC
My stomach hurts too much to eat so I'm looking up various foods on wikipedia. It's really not a very good idea but then again, what is? Maybe not doing it. Ok, you have made your point, SHUT UP. I've also gotten myself into a weird point where I'm so tired, but my stomach hurts so much that I won't be able to sleep. And I can't really draw anything right now either, but I need to keep occupied. Almost all my music is giving me a headache and making me feel ill. I knew I should have gotten more emergency music that is slow and droney as hell, with no percussion or vocals.
But as it stands I currently don't really have any of that; I've got a new laptop recently, and only copied some essential stuff over as of now, though I did a piss poor job of that because I somehow managed to only copy over 3 Red House Painters songs (and they're my favourite band). I'm finding myself listening to The Beach Boy's "Don't Talk (Put Your Head on My Shoulder)" on repeat now. It's really hypnotic and drifty. I also had the probably controversial/wrong opinion as of late that "Pet Sounds" is a better album than any Beatles album, with the possible exception of The White Album. But it's just so enjoyable, and to think that it even came out before Sgt. Peppers is pretty impressive (yeah, I know that Peppers was directly influenced by it).
On the subject of music way before my time, I've realised I have really hardly explored the 70s at all. I mean what - Neil Young, Nick Drake, Serge Gainsbourg, Queen. Is that it? I should sort myself out. I also feel that I should apologise to the 80s, cos Anthony made me aware that I kind of slagged it off when I was 15, but really. You brought us The Cure, The Smiths, Michael Jackson's best album (Thriller for those of you who aren't kidding yourselves), My Bloody Valentine's fantastic debut album, and y'know, lots more stuff. So kudos! I think my major gripe is that I think the 80s was kind of the point where mainstream music really started to go down hill, but you should judge a period of time by what it produced, not what became popular.
THE TUMBLR SECTION
I'm gonna talk about blogging for a while, though I'm a bit late on talking about what I'm about to talk about. I have pretty much been (semi) regularly blogging since 2006, and it's always been a weird nerdy fringe thing. Like the "You should check out my blog! I've got some opinions there! Heh!" stereotype. Then semi-recently, the tumblr craze started to kick in, and I was honestly excited. Maybe I'd get the chance to read people's thoughts on things, get some kind of better understanding of the people I know but don't really associate with.
Turns out it's just an excuse to post pictures you've seen somewhere else.
I mean, seriously? Is this what people choose to do? Fucking christ. Why is it that when the the "majority" (best word I could have used to not make me look like an elitist shit, guess I failed there) get a hand on something, their first port of call is to be like everyone else? I think the fact there's even a "re-blogging" option is just such a horrible, mind bogglingly stupid tool, saying "come on, don't put any effort it. Just click this button and your tumblr will be as cool as ours!". But then I can't really fault tumblr for that. Its tools given are those that can be created for good, but people use them for evil (ie: stupidly reblogging everyone's blogs that are just a cool black and white picture of someone smoking a cigarette or something).
I think tumblr has Little Big Planet syndrome. For those of you who don't know, Little Big Planet is a videogame that has a very in depth level creator, with the major purpose of the game being creating and sharing levels on a world wide platform via uploading them. The problem with this that it only really works that well as a mechanic if the majority of the audience are artistic creative wonders who don't just remake levels of old games and create cars that go really fast and crash into walls (and one thing it really has in common with Tumblr is that everyone copies levels and posts them again as if they're their own work). Or at the very least, make it easier for the generally good level designs to get a front page spot. What I'm saying is that the premise of tumblr/blogs in general is obviously great, but christ do people do stupid things instead.
I mean at the end of the day, none of this really matters. People can choose to make their blogs however they want/whatever they want them to be about. Quality isn't really what's bugging me. I'm not arguing that a certain style of blogging is best, and that everyone's blogs should strive to be verbose/wordy like mine or anything. I'm just saying that at the very fucking least don't create them by pressing a single button to copy someone else's.
My stomach hurts too much to eat so I'm looking up various foods on wikipedia. It's really not a very good idea but then again, what is? Maybe not doing it. Ok, you have made your point, SHUT UP. I've also gotten myself into a weird point where I'm so tired, but my stomach hurts so much that I won't be able to sleep. And I can't really draw anything right now either, but I need to keep occupied. Almost all my music is giving me a headache and making me feel ill. I knew I should have gotten more emergency music that is slow and droney as hell, with no percussion or vocals.
But as it stands I currently don't really have any of that; I've got a new laptop recently, and only copied some essential stuff over as of now, though I did a piss poor job of that because I somehow managed to only copy over 3 Red House Painters songs (and they're my favourite band). I'm finding myself listening to The Beach Boy's "Don't Talk (Put Your Head on My Shoulder)" on repeat now. It's really hypnotic and drifty. I also had the probably controversial/wrong opinion as of late that "Pet Sounds" is a better album than any Beatles album, with the possible exception of The White Album. But it's just so enjoyable, and to think that it even came out before Sgt. Peppers is pretty impressive (yeah, I know that Peppers was directly influenced by it).
On the subject of music way before my time, I've realised I have really hardly explored the 70s at all. I mean what - Neil Young, Nick Drake, Serge Gainsbourg, Queen. Is that it? I should sort myself out. I also feel that I should apologise to the 80s, cos Anthony made me aware that I kind of slagged it off when I was 15, but really. You brought us The Cure, The Smiths, Michael Jackson's best album (Thriller for those of you who aren't kidding yourselves), My Bloody Valentine's fantastic debut album, and y'know, lots more stuff. So kudos! I think my major gripe is that I think the 80s was kind of the point where mainstream music really started to go down hill, but you should judge a period of time by what it produced, not what became popular.
THE TUMBLR SECTION
I'm gonna talk about blogging for a while, though I'm a bit late on talking about what I'm about to talk about. I have pretty much been (semi) regularly blogging since 2006, and it's always been a weird nerdy fringe thing. Like the "You should check out my blog! I've got some opinions there! Heh!" stereotype. Then semi-recently, the tumblr craze started to kick in, and I was honestly excited. Maybe I'd get the chance to read people's thoughts on things, get some kind of better understanding of the people I know but don't really associate with.
Turns out it's just an excuse to post pictures you've seen somewhere else.
I mean, seriously? Is this what people choose to do? Fucking christ. Why is it that when the the "majority" (best word I could have used to not make me look like an elitist shit, guess I failed there) get a hand on something, their first port of call is to be like everyone else? I think the fact there's even a "re-blogging" option is just such a horrible, mind bogglingly stupid tool, saying "come on, don't put any effort it. Just click this button and your tumblr will be as cool as ours!". But then I can't really fault tumblr for that. Its tools given are those that can be created for good, but people use them for evil (ie: stupidly reblogging everyone's blogs that are just a cool black and white picture of someone smoking a cigarette or something).
I think tumblr has Little Big Planet syndrome. For those of you who don't know, Little Big Planet is a videogame that has a very in depth level creator, with the major purpose of the game being creating and sharing levels on a world wide platform via uploading them. The problem with this that it only really works that well as a mechanic if the majority of the audience are artistic creative wonders who don't just remake levels of old games and create cars that go really fast and crash into walls (and one thing it really has in common with Tumblr is that everyone copies levels and posts them again as if they're their own work). Or at the very least, make it easier for the generally good level designs to get a front page spot. What I'm saying is that the premise of tumblr/blogs in general is obviously great, but christ do people do stupid things instead.
I mean at the end of the day, none of this really matters. People can choose to make their blogs however they want/whatever they want them to be about. Quality isn't really what's bugging me. I'm not arguing that a certain style of blogging is best, and that everyone's blogs should strive to be verbose/wordy like mine or anything. I'm just saying that at the very fucking least don't create them by pressing a single button to copy someone else's.
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