Everything you need to know about me, except there’s lots of stuff that isn’t here so I don’t know

1. I'm doing this for a number of reasons, including:

• I haven't written a proper blog since the 14th of November, yikes.
• Michael told me to write a blog.
• I'm kind of influenced by those Facebook status things, where you write 25 facts and tag people and what not, except I'm not going to be lame and tag people (I can't anyway) and I'm going to make this quite lengthy (boo urns?).

2. There are a number of reasons (well, not really) I haven't blogged for months, including:

• I have nothing to write about anymore, writer's block if you will. I used up my creative well talking about music and art for like, 40 blogs, and I have no idea how anyone got any interest out of them (well, the 5 or so people that read them!). But yeah, actually that's being a little to harsh to my own blogs; they're alright, just very, very repetitive. They’re honest at least.
• There is no reason number 2; I just wanted to use bullet points (see?).

3. I used to go on about me not knowing what I wanted to do with my life, e.g, I'd go on about not knowing if I wanted to pursue a career in art (the visual kind) or music. I was lying, though. Ever since I had those thoughts (basically when I started listening to good music), I knew that I 100% wanted to be a musician, it was more of a fact of I didn't think I'd ever be good enough. I got a lot better over two years though, so now I think the only thing that will stop me from trying to pursue music is me just making bad decisions on purpose, which I do sometimes because I get scared of expectations and I have annoying doubts in my mind that make me go the safe option. This has actually made my life significantly worse in some areas, but probably better in a few others.

4. Life ambition is to become a musician, and an acclaimed one. First and foremost, I want to write music that connects with people and is original, and I want to write for a lot of different genres and not just find one sound and stick with that until I suck all life from it. Will this happen? Probably not, probably definitely not even, but I'd like at least one aspect of this to happen.

5. Favourite albums are, in a rough order:

• Amnesiac - Radiohead
• Kid A - Radiohead
• From a Basement on the Hill - Elliott Smith
• Ok Computer - Radiohead
• Grace - Jeff Buckley
• Either/Or - Elliott Smith
• Ágætis byrjun - Sigur Rós

And then the order gets very fuzzy and confusing, even though it's already confusing (the only ones I know the ordering for certain are the first 3). To be honest I'm wondering if basically every other Radiohead album except Pablo Honey is above Ágætis byrjun.

6. I have been playing acoustic guitar ever since year 5, so around 7 years or so (wow, that's shockingly close to half my life). In years 5 and 6, in primary school, I was basically just taught loads of chords. In years 7 through to year 9, I had a bit more proper lessons, and I started to not like guitar very much at all. This was because I basically never listened to guitar based music (I listened to, like just Michael Jackson, but liked Queen near the end of year 9 though) then at the very end of year 9 (basically transitioning into year 10), I discovered Muse, and started self teaching myself, and after a year and some Radiohead and Elliott Smith later, I was a lot, lot better than I ever was. Self teaching helps.

7. I am addicted to the show "To Catch a Predator". I find it completely hilarious and fascinating. I love how, a lot of the time, they all have the same excuses, and even the ones who turn up naked say "I just wanted to talk". Chris Hansen is a complete legend. Though I admit, I do sometimes feel somewhat sorry for the people caught on the program, just because I wonder if some of them would have actually done what they did if the weren't provoked to hell. This one is probably my favourite. Or this one.

8. I care what people think of me quite a lot. If I find out someone doesn't like me or whatever, it can often get to me and I'll think over my head what I've done wrong and then be a little bitch etc. I think not caring what people think of you is an admirable quality that I wish I could have, but it's one that I also doubt many people, if any, actually have (completely, anyway). I have heard that caring what other people think of you slowly vanishes with age, which will definitely a great aspect of growing up if it's true.

9. I have an abnormally large love for my cat Molly, and she's probably the only thing in the world that I love on a consistent basis. There's something extremely comforting about animal interaction. Like, it doesn't really matter what you do; you could kill someone, rape someone, burn a building down etc etc, but if you didn't do anything to them, they'd probably still love you. It's nice having something that you know will always be there. More importantly, she comes to me when I whistle.

10. I can't wait for the days when the world will be different. It seems like it's already starting to happen, but still, the intolerance (or tolerance) some people in society still have in extremely large numbers for some things is just plain shitty. Like, I mean, can you believe that people actually argue over things like claims that homosexuality is wrong, and that capital punishment is just and fair, etc etc? When is this shit just going to be cut out of our lives? It’s not needed, it will never be needed. At least if we want to progress as a society.

11. Recently, I don't feel close to anyone. Not my best friends, or Ugmoers, or family or whoever. I don’t necessarily feel bad because of this, at all, it’s just that, as lame and angsty and, well, teenage as this sounds, I feel no body “gets” me. God I felt lame typing that, but it’s true! I think there was a period where, at least with me, Dom, and Michael, and Zak (though he doesn’t have anything to do with Dom and Michael) all had a sort of low point in our lives, and we all bonded really well for a bit, but now we’re all ok so it sucks! Boo urns.

12. As far as I recall, I have never drunk coffee. I wonder if I’ll ever really care about it. Probably not. I really don’t want to be dependent on anything I don’t really need, e.g, drinking coffee to wake myself up or whatever. Unless it actually tastes good and I’ve just been completely unaware.

13. Some facts I want to put at the top of this list, but I can't because then I'd have to re-number everything. I just thought of a solution to this problem while writing this, so yeah, hello. Man, this is a pointless and uninteresting fact, oops.

14. I've realised that I've kind of set myself up to be either majorly successful or a horrible, horrible failure at life. At least, those are the only futures I see of myself in my mind. I guess I’m just not preparing for any other outcomes, at least not in my mind. Then again, I have a very black and white definition of my opinion of what failing at life would be for me, and that would be: cowering out, not going for my dreams, and settling in for a dead end job that I don’t give a flying fuck about by the time I’m 25.

15. Contrary to the previous fact, nobody can fail at life. Either if they're just a useless blob sitting at their computer doing jack shit all day, they'll probably have experienced thousands of emotions and situations that no one has ever felt before, which is indeed pretty cool. I hate it how people have a predispositioned view on how people are meant to have lived their lives to be worth something, e,g you basically have to go to university to be taken seriously (which I guess is fair enough for some things). Though at the same time, people with absolutely no ambitions get on my nerves a bit.

16. Thinking about it, I probably should’ve saved this blog for my 100^th entry. I mean, the number of facts matches it perfectly and everything, and this blog is going to be pretty significant. The down side to doing that is that I’ll be about 64 (yeah, I used that number because of that Beatles song) when I get to my 100^th blog, and by then I’ll be too rich and important to care about such trivial pursuits as a blog. Obviously. In fact, it’s so obvious that I have no such need for words such as “obvious”. I am trying to just add in lots of words now, sorry for being verbose etc.

17. Radiohead albums in order:

Amnesiac/Kid A

Ok Computer
Hail to the Thief
In Rainbows
The Bends
Pablo Honey

Though I feel sad looking at this list, saying something like “The Bends is the 2^nd worst Radiohead album”, because even though it’s true, it’s still a GREAT album, so it seems slightly demeaning! My opinions do change all the time though; the only thing I’m really certain of is that either Kid A or Amnesiac are at the top, and Pablo Honey is at the bottom (though, granted, it’s still alright. Blow Out is better than most songs on The Bends).

18. Elliott Smith albums in order (this is just an entirely “for now” thing, the list will be completely different in a month I guarantee):

Either/Or

From a Basement on the Hill

Elliott Smith

XO

Roman Candle
Figure 8

Hahahaha, this is hard. Arranging Elliott Smith albums into lists is even harder than doing it with Radiohead, probably because Elliott’s albums are slightly more consistent in quality, but then again, maybe not. I tried placing New Moon onto this list just now, but I can’t find a spot I’d agree with.

19. Conspiracy theorists really annoy the hell out of me, most of the time. I’m thinking about this because on the way home on Thursday, I got the London Bridge train so I could travel with Fearghall for a few stops. Joyous as that was: when I got off at Streatham Common, I sat down at the bench with Zak, and on the floor someone had written “9/11 and 7/7 were inside jobs, watch loose change on youtube to learn more” or something along those lines.

They’re not believing the conspiracies because they have any credibility, but because they’re contrarians who are easily convinced of anything if it’s another point of view. They don’t bother to research how documentaries (such as loose change) can be easily discredited, and how they’ve even gone as far as to doctor images. Useless propaganda.

Ali G brilliantly parodied the moon landing conspiracy when he interviewed Buzz Aldrin, though. He’s talking about conspiracies, and how he’s going to settle it once and for all with conspiracy theorists by getting the answer from Aldrin himself, before asking him “Does the moon really exist?”. Brilliant.

20. I’m writing in this thing at this moment in time (16:29, 28^th March 2009) because my internet won’t work at all. At first, I just had a terrible connection, then I couldn’t connect to my own wireless unless I was in a certain spot, and now it, and all the other networks, just aren’t coming up at all. Balls. At least it’s got me in a writing mood, I guess. It still took me 36 minutes to write this fact alone, though. That’s because I’ve just added a bunch of new music to my library, like DJ Shadow’s Endtroducing, some Beatles albums I didn’t have before (Revolver, Rubber Soul), Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon, and some Arcade Fire stuff. I haven’t listened to any of it yet, though.

21. Out of all the friends I’ve ever met in my life that I haven’t met at Brit, only one of them I still talk to (Jamil), but even then it’s once in a blue moon that I talk to him or we see each other. I really miss speaking to Oran, he’s one of my best friends and someone I’ve always felt 100% comfortable around, and (LAME) there’s no one else like him, not that I’ve ever met anyway. DEREk is still definitely one of my favourite things of all time.

I’ve already written about this whole “losing friends over time” thing in a previous blog, but I felt like writing about it again because now I see even less of them since then, which sucks. It might be because my year 9 self was me at my worst, I was such a pain and was pretty mean to some people, sometimes… but the worst thing was definitely my musical opinion. I was so unbearably closed minded and yet, my musical taste wasn’t interesting at all*. I guess I’m kind of like how my brother is now, lololol.

*as far as I recall, it was just Queen, Michael Jackson, and Sonic music. I’m putting this as a foot note thing because I didn’t want to interrupt my flow, y’all. Dawg. Balls.

22. Now that it’s getting all spring timey and sunny, I feel like “shit! I have to make this worthwhile, quick! Before it goes and I’m stuck in depressing shitty winter again.”. That probably makes no sense, as reading that sentence doesn’t really convey what I mean to me either, so I’ll try to explain by writing in a thought by thought kind of way:

I think I started thinking this when I was going to school, and it was really sunny and warm, (which it hadn’t really been for ages, because of winter and such) and I was listening to Dear Prudence on my iPod. I’d walked off the train, out the station, and was walking to school when John Lennon sung in my ear* “The sun is up, the sky is blue, it’s beautiful, and so are you” and I had a mini epiphany, a sudden realisation and rush, I was like “this song is so, so, damn good.” (I’m aware I’m probably horribly misusing the word epiphany, but I guess it feels like what would happen if I had one. In fact, I’ve only ever used the word to describe how I’ve felt when listening to songs anyway).

*Yes, I do mean the actual person. He was brought back from the dead to say this to me, and then he left. I tried to tell people, but they all thought I was crazy. What a bunch of lame people, right? Right? Good.

Then, after that weird rush of happiness etc, I kind of felt a little bit of sadness*. I remember feeling “this is such a beautiful day, it’s going to be such a beautiful time, and yet I’m wasting it being a complete loner.” It’s a desire to make something special, but not having the first clue how.

*Man, this makes me sound like a manic depressive.

I guess that’s enough of that.

23. I wish it was always summer, but this is impossible. However, it’s not impossible to experience. I have devised a pretty genius plan, which goes a little bit like this:

Experience the joys and bliss of summer time in England, THEN (!!!!!!!!!!!).

Move to Australia when it starts to get shitty.
Move back to England when it starts to turn winter in Australia (which is still probably better than summer here).

Repeat for the rest of my life.

This plan is perfect and anyone who disagrees is just jealous for not thinking of it first. Such as you. You’re jealous for not thinking of it first. Admit it. Actually, there are some down sides. Australia has shitty, shitty internet (though since the reason for me writing this blog right now is that my internet is crippled beyond repair, I shouldn’t be mentioning that right now) and they have a bunch of shitty poisonous stuff that England doesn’t have, animals etc. Words words words, I have to write lots of words. I have a goal, which is trying to beat Dom’s longest blog (which was 12000 words, I think). I have to formulate a plan to beat his record though, and he does it without thinking. What a prick. I REALLY DISLIKE HIM!

24. I have a word document saved on my computer that I am not going to read at all once I’m 17, right up until the age of 30 or something. It’s basically a description of my life, opinions, feelings, ambitions etc. I have this so that, in the future, I can see how much I’ve really changed. People always say things about people my age like “heh, he’s just 16 and thinks he knows everything, he doesn’t know shit.” So naturally I want to see if that fictional person is right or not (and no, I’m not claiming for a second that I know everything!). Then again, my 30 year old self might be just as retarded as I am now (that is if I’m retarded in the first place). Yeah, I’m just tossing about words like retarded now.

25. I hate being forced into things that I don’t want to do. I really, really hate it, even. No, by that I don’t mean things like being told “Go clean your room, you son of a bitch. That’s right; your real mother was a female dog. Also, while you’re cleaning your room, I might tell you some more bizarrely literal insults.” What I do mean is things like peer pressure by friends, non-friends, school, family, society etc. Pressure into falling into a trap of feeling like you should be trying to be something else, and you feel bad even though you’re aware of it, until you start to try and do what you’re pressured into and you feel better because you get encouraged by everyone else, but you don’t want to do that.

I’m not sure if I’ve wrote about this before. Probably have at some point in time.

26. This next fact is all about a specific video, which has some really nice music to it too, I might add. I bet that’s a large part of the appeal. Anyway, here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p86BPM1GV8M&feature=channel_page

I really love this video, because it makes me feel at one with humanity; it makes me feel like everything that is on this planet is so important, so special, so rare, and that we as a collective should try and look after everything as best we can, and live life to the complete full. It makes me feel an extreme comfort realising that, really, we’re all in the same boat, and the boat will sink eventually, so uh, not really sure what I’m trying to say here.

But, on the other hand:

It makes you feel lonely, don’t you think? That we are alone (in a sense), and that even if there is other life, it’s so far away from us that we can only dream of visiting it or it visiting us. And that one day, this small blue dot will end, and so will us. And that there really is no meaning to life, and that while that is comforting, it means that really, we aren’t as valuable as we think we are and yadda yadda I’ve said this before.

I think my ideal world would be one that has no god or anything, so that there still is no concrete reason for living that everyone must abide by (how sucky would that be?) but yet, one where we can choose to live forever (if we want to), and where space travel involving humans going out of our solar system isn’t practically impossible.

27. I am recently pretty heavily into The Beatles, they’ve been pretty much all I’m listening to for a few days (it is the 6^th of April 2009 as I write this). It’s funny how you know about a band for so long, and have their albums for so long, and know how critically and commercially acclaimed they are, but yet when you finally try to really listen to them, you’re amazed! Well, not YOU, you scum, but ME, Jack! I recently am finding myself wishing I was around for Beatle mania, something insanely popular that’s actually worthwhile.

Dear Prudence, A Day in the Life, Good Night, Happiness is a Warm Gun, Tax Man, Across the Universe, Within you Without you etc etc, are some of the best songs I’ve ever heard. I always wonder why songs like “Let it Be” and “Yesterday” are always listed as the best Beatles songs, when they’re pretty average in comparison.

28. My good friend, Michael “Reeve” Sandford, has his own web comic at www.xandford.com . It is the only web comic that I regularly read and check for updates, not that I really care about web comics anyway, thus making my point irrelevant. But hey, it’ll make him feel happy, even though uh, oh whatever. It’s a great comic, and it’s definitely best to read it from the beginning.

29. I feel so incredibly happy and overjoyed right now. Why? Because I’ve just found a ton of new Elliott Smith songs that I didn’t have before (I finally have more Elliott Smith songs than Radiohead songs, 10 more in fact). It’s similar to finding a treasure chest, except uh, on the internet, and the treasure makes amazing sounds.

The song “See you in Heaven” is one of the best songs I’ve ever heard. Maybe even my favourite…but this might be because it’s completely fresh for me, hasn’t had the chance to grow boring. Elliott died before getting to record any vocals for it, or so I’ve heard, but it’s probably the happiest song ever regardless. I wonder how it would have sounded when completed with the vocals. It’s still varied enough to sound like a finished piece.

Along with a bunch of new songs, I’ve gotten a whole lot of demos of other songs too. It’s interesting to see how much the lyrics change over time. It’s like looking at a scrap book.

Hahahaha, man. Let it be known that on the 10^th of April, 2009, I have pretty much listened to See you in Heaven all day. Bibilo said it’s amazing, which is cool! Maybe he will like Elliott Smith one day.

30. My hair is really annoying… haha, this is going to be the lamest fact ever, so prepare! I honestly can’t think of anything to say right now. But yeah, apparently it’s in my genes to have incredibly thick hair, I grow a double crown or something like that. It makes any attempt at growing long hair into a terrible bush…thing. I can make it look ok but I have to fuckin’ manage it, and that is something I will be bothered to do. Haha, and I look ridiculous with short hair too, I’ve realised, because I have a pretty big FOREHEAD. Oh, and my nails, don’t even get me started! (Ok, that one was a lame attempt at humour, don’t worry, I don’t give THAT much of a fuck).

31. I’m currently back reading through my old blogs for inspiration on what to write, because I’m seriously stuck and have no idea how I’m going to write 70 more facts. Regrettably, seeing as I’m currently using my blog for source material, I’ll probably just end up regurgitating ramblings that I’ve already rambled about one hundred times before, and I want to keep the contents of this blog mainly new developments, y’know.

That said, I guess this blog would be a great introduction for anyone who hasn’t read any of my previous blogs, except for the fact that it’s going to be as fuckin’ big as my FUCKIN’ DICK, BITCHES. Yeah, apart from that, and the fact that it’s going to have so many words and put basically everyone who tries to read it off. Maybe it will filter out the true fans lololol.

32. I wonder if I could pass off pictures as facts for this blog. The down side to this is that I’d lose possible word counts…but a-HA, a picture is a thousand words so suck on that, all you beautiful people. Still, that won’t quite satisfy the word counter on word, but I’d say that’s just a hideous fault with the program rather than with my, frankly flawless, blogging skills.

33. I should probably stop writing facts about my blog, or the process of writing my blog, or about boring shit in general. Surely doing that can’t be interesting for anyone, so I better stop right now, thank you very much; I need somebody with a human touch.

34. I wonder how I’d be if I was more impulsive. If this was a Futurama episode, it would involve me killing my friends and having sex with a retarded loser, which of course would be fine, but that’s not what I mean. I am probably the least impulsive person in the world, and it kind of sucks really bad, and I wish it could be different but for some reason I just can’t change it.

35. I often feel like I’m completely wasting my day if I’m not making anything, whether it be animation, writing songs, drawing, or even writing in this blog etc. It’s hard to explain, it’s a part of my personality I’ve always had, since I was 3. I’ve created comics since that age, usually awesome stuff like Thomas the Tank Engine vs Sonic etc. I just don’t know how people can’t be interested in creating work.

36. Today (22^nd April, 2009) I have spent a large majority of the day outside. I don’t mean out my house, doing fun things etc, no no no. I mean, just playing guitar in my garden, eating dinner outside etc. Man, it’s nice I tell ya. I was thinking of the Feeder song “Elegy” at the time (“summer breeze, kisses me”) not because those lyrics are particularly brilliant or whatever, but because I was playing a similar sounding song on guitar (not anything particular).

I felt like writing autumnal songs like Nick Drake did, about clouds and leaves and moons and rivers. Lol at me making it seem like I’m some sophisticated song writer or something or other, I’m just someone who happened to have a guitar while outside, don’t mind me.

37. List of things I need to accomplish by (hopefully) the end of year 13 (some are taken from a list from my old MySpace blog from 2 years ago):

Finish an album by the end of year 13, probably a lo-fi acoustic album (I want to make my own “Roman Candle” I guess. Actually, Pink Moon might be more accurate).
Finish flash cartoons such as Lips 4 and 5 and Alien Potato, just so I can end that chapter of my life. Also: release this stuff on places like Newgrounds to get some recognition. Thinking about it, if the reception was really good, it might encourage me to make more.
Continue to enhance my instrument playing skills; continue to get into new music.
Stop being shy about stupid things.
See Radiohead live

Stop being a coward.

Create some kind of artistic piece that is better than everything I’ve managed to do previously (and I’m talking about the visual kind).

38. I’m annoyed that so many people I listen to are dead, so I can never see them live, or hear new stuff. Elliott Smith, Half of The Beatles, Nick Drake, and Jeff Buckley. The last 2 are especially saddening because they didn’t even nearly reach their potential. It’s completely tragic that Jeff Buckley only managed to release 1 album, and how Nick Drake was completely ignored by the public before his death. He was way ahead of his time, extraordinarily ahead.

What also saddens me is that he was just so damn talented, and that I probably won’t ever be as talented, and I make the same sort of music.

39. Ok, story time (this relates to previous fact). So I was on the tram back, by myself, tired as complete fuck (went to bed at 5:30am, woke up at 8:30am, had been at the shop til 8pm), had my guitar and my bag etc, and was just kind of collapsed ‘cause it was late. And for some reason, every thought that entered my mind was negative. I was thinking about failed love for some reason, possibly because failed love makes me tired. And I was thinking about music, probably because the only thing I could see was my guitar case. Then I started thinking “I am not going to be a very successful musician” because I was thinking of all of these great artists that inspire me that never become all that successful, and that they’re a lot better than me and make the same sort of music so if I did become more successful it’d be a massive injustice.

Then I started thinking that I am also horribly unoriginal in everything I ever really try to do, and I make diet versions of everything (that is a lame metaphor). And then I realised that I am just 16, and there’s plenty of time to change, which made me feel a little better, but not quite, because it made me feel better logically but not emotionally, if that makes sense.

Then I got home. I watched The Simpsons. I got slightly sad at the ending of the episode with Homer’s mum, sad as in I felt really funny, when Homer sits under the stars by himself at the end. I felt a bit better, so I went to bed. LOL!!!!LL!O!L

And then I realised that I keep starting sentences with “and then”, and then the end.

40. Had an art exhibition on Thursday, the 14^th of May. There were so many weirdoes there, it was incredible. One guy was talking to me about how his wife left him. He was like “my partner left me”, and I looked around thinking he was talking about an usher that had abandoned him rudely, but then he started going on about his wife, and I just nodded and laughed and he might have been offended, if he didn’t follow me everywhere for 10 minutes after I’d already showed him around.

There was some other guy who I wish I had seen; he apparently took a bite out of all the cakes and just put the pieces back afterwards. He is cool; I would’ve done the same thing. There was another Turkish guy that Liam was showing around, who apparently kept saying everything was miserable, and when Liam asked him to write something in the comments book, all he did was put his name. He probably thought it was a petition. Hooray.

41. Swine flu. I was on msn, in a group chat, and asked for a subject to use in my blog. Someone (Ben) said swine flu, so here I am. Swine flew…get it? Pigs fly? Get it? Because pigs fly and swine flu, get it? Pigs fly? Get it? Because pigs fly?

42. So I’m looking at a bunch of Facebook quizzes, which seems to be a new fad on there, which is all well and good (when I do well on them). But y’know what sucks? When one of the questions included in quite a lot of the ones I’ve seen has been “what cell phone network am I on?”. I mean, holy crap, are you that boring of a person that a question like that warrants inclusion on a quiz about yourself? Why not ask what brand of ketchup you use or what shop you go to to buy toe nail clippers.

43. I have a cool habit of mishearing lyrics in cool ways. Examples include:

Everything in its Right Place – Radiohead. Mishearing “Yesterday I woke up sucking a lemon” as “yesterday I woke up stuck in a limo”.

Jigsaw Falling into Place – Radiohead. Mishearing “A light, you can feel it on your back” as “A light, you can feel it, I’m no faggot”.

And last of all, and the best, is the Sigur Rós song “Hoppipolla”. You can’t help but mishear “Og ég fæ blóðnasir” (what kind of none Icelandic person would hear that anyway?) as “Oh year five boners”. That’s actually thanks to Liam (hi!), though.

44. I’m in a horrible mood right now, because I was reading sweet addy (Elliott Smith forum) and just, there’s a stickied* thread about one of the members dying of cancer. It just got to me. I have no idea who the person is, but it’s just…man. I have no idea why shit like this effects me so much, I wish it didn’t.

The weird thing is how he was apparently so like…accepting of it all. Most of the time, I always read how people are so accepting of this kind of thing when it happens to them. I know if it was me, I’d feel dead inside, and see my life as just one giant count down to the end, and spend my days being shit scared and terrified and regretful.

Then again…I bet everyone who gets it feels that way at first. I can imagine me being more cowardly than most, though.

*Haha, word doesn’t recognise that word. I guess it really is just something you’d never even hear if not going on forums).

45. Ok, another list, though it’s not ordered or anything. I’m gonna name a bunch of artists and my favourite song and / or* album from each. The song I list might not necessarily be from the album I list, either.

Radiohead – Amnesiac – Pyramid Song

Elliott Smith – Either/Or – A Distorted Reality is now a Necessity to be Free

Nick Drake – Pink Moon – From the Morning

Jeff Buckley – Grace (well duh) – Dream Brother

Sigur Rós - Ágætis byrjun - Viðrar vel til loftárása

The Beatles – The Beatles (White Album) – Dear Prudence

The Smashing Pumpkins – Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness (though I really need more Pumpkins albums, I only have 2) – Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness

Portishead – Third – The Rip

Animal Collective – In The Flowers

Björk – Homogenic – Either Play Dead or Harm of Will

Feeder – Elegy

Mute – Take Shape

Michael Jackson – Thriller - Will You Be There (I love the hell out of this song now)

Mogwai – Travel is Dangerous

Muse – Origin of Symmetry – Either Citizen Erased, Micro Cuts, Showbiz, or Map of your Head

Neutral Milk Hotel – Really, the two King of Carrot Flowers when played side by side are completely unmatched. Two Headed Boy part 2 is also amazing.

The Smiths – The Queen is Dead (talking albums here, can’t decide about favourite song. It’s a toss between The Queen is Dead, Some girls are bigger than others, There is a Light that never goes out, the head master ritual, and how soon is now. I can’t be bothered for uppercase, bro.)

Bright Eyes - Lua

As a side note: fuck yeah, another 200 or so words down, and all I had to do was make a boring list.

46. Bukkake* (I asked Liam for a subject). Where do I begin? I’ve always been a fan since I was about 3, and I first heard the song “won’t you love me?” on the radio. “Bukkake, bukkake, won’t you love me?” Those lyrics spoke to me probably more than any song has before, and I was three years old. How did they do it? I think they were the first proper band I ever got into, the first band to reach my soul, and penetrate it.

They went down hill when they started making all those “live DVDs” where they’d replaced their guitars with phalluses.

*maybe you should look it up?

47. Nocturnal life style (another Liam subject, what an ANNOYING PERSON, HOW DARE HE TAKE OVER MY BLOG. I’LL HAVE HIM TO BE BANNED FROM THIS FORUM). When I am in the holidays, I break my body clock to fuck, I beat the shit out of it, kill its family, torture it. Life is good, life is great. But then the holidays end, and my body clock decides to get its revenge. It destroys me completely; it makes what I did to it seem like nothing. For a day.

Though there was one part that I got wrong about everything I wrote, the “Life is good, life is great” part, because having a nocturnal lifestyle is probably the most boring thing in the fucking world. But I do it anyway. Weird huh? Or maybe it’s because of my boring lifestyle that I develop a nocturnal body clock. Who knows?

Question mark?

48. This is a fact dedicated to the one and only legend: Jack Deakin. He’s probably one of my favourite people ever, because he makes the greatest videos that are hilarious and totally show his personality effortlessly. They could not be made by any other person in the world. For a large space of time, most of the time I’ve known of him, he’s been a complete mystery. I thought that discovering the face of him would ruin the illusion, but it’s just made me love him more, so much more. Man, this is really creepy. Jack (Deakin, not me), if you ever read this, I am just a massive fan and not a stalker! I am just slightly overemphasising things is all.

Watch Kate Ashby drops the Baby at least. It’s just amazing. Art.

49. Things that I am terrible at relating to song writing:

Lyrics. I am just shit. I try, but I suck. The best I can do is mediocre crap, and it is annoying. I can’t write love songs without them being cheesy as fuck, I can’t write sad songs without sounding like an angsty teenager. It’s because I’m writing without complete experience, I think*. That’s not to say I’m not feeling the emotions, it’s just that when I write songs, I kind of create an imaginary world. I’m not explaining this well. And fuck, creating an imaginary world is hardly a bad song writing technique, I’m being retarded. Not being completely straight forward and blunt isn’t how to write good lyrics.

So I guess my lyrics aren’t bad due to lack of experience, but due to lack of talent…man, that just makes me feel WORSE hahaha.

*but if that’s true, that means I gotta fuckin’ wait before I can write lyrics.

Vocal melodies and just writing vocal stuff in general. I can’t make vocal melodies for shit, and it’s my biggest weakness. The main reason is because I can’t get it to match my lyrics a lot of the time, rhythmically. I guess this is mainly a problem with the lyrics, but it’s hard creating 2 things and putting them together. I’m not good at that.

Creating 2 things and putting them together (LOOOOOOOOOOL).

50. OOOOooooh, finally at the half way point. What’s a good fact that I could use for this? I need to think of something…ooooh come on, there must be something that I could say that’s interesting. Nope.

51. I’ve realised that every single girl I’ve ever fancied (that word is lame, I was going to write “been attracted to” but that list is probably endless) has had a 2 syllable name, or has been referred to most of the time by a 2 syllable nick name. *Streams and streams of my many, many female readers all think “OMG!!!! JACK FANCIES ME COS OF MY NAME!!!!!OMG LOL!!!!!!!”*. Even though most girls are known by two syllable names, it’s still a mildly interesting coincidence though.

52. Songs that I’m embarrassed to like but reguardless I like them a lot:

Hoku – Perfect Day (discovering it through Legally Blonde probably makes it a lot worse, but god damn it it’s so happy fuck you)

Kelly Rowland – Stole (I can’t help but be embarrassed by liking songs that I still think are good, but are made by people that 12 year old girls love etc etc).

Christina Aguilera – The Voice Within, probably a few others from her Stripped album.

Mute – Take Shape

Michael Jackson – Gone to Soon (I love Michael Jackson, this song no exception, but it reminds me of a really corny song from a Disney movie, admit it). Okay, note: when I wrote that, Michael wasn’t dead. Now it just makes me really sad and stuff K.

Avril Lavigne – Ummm, Complicated and Nobody’s Fool I really like. Basically if I liked a song between the ages of say, 8 – 12, I probably still like it now.

I’ll add more to the list later.

53. Oh my god why am I only half way done. Why did I ever agree to this shit, this is going to take forever and I’m never going to finish it, screw this I’m outta here.

54. Ok, now I’m back. Strange, now I’m trying to get facts out of the way instead of words, seeing as I’m writing more than I should be. This is good, I guess.

55. When I was a young child, I’d always be completely fascinated by areas in games that you can’t get to. In Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3 (Ps2), I always tried to reach the impossible to reach bridge in the Los Angeles level (before it gets destroyed by the earthquake you can cause). This is because the bridge leads out into the city, and I was young and naïve enough to think that they had programmed a whole city that nobody could access. Despite what I said about it being impossible to get to the bridge, I actually DID do it one time. Going along the bridge led you to a “out of bounds” message, returning you to some other part of the map.

Other examples are trying to jump over the hills outside Peach’s castle in Super Mario 64 (which was actually funny because when you get all 120 of the power stars, you can fly around this whole area and see there’s absolutely nothing beyond these pretty easily).

It’s awesome how some games purposely reward this, though. Well, I can only think of one example; in Half Life 2: Episode 2, you can no clip (basically fly through walls, with cheats) down a tunnel in this underground mine, where suddenly the words “How did you get here?” appear on screen. There are some cool rewards you can get in games for trying to do this that were unintentional, such as in Sonic Adventure, you can get into levels other characters can only get to by glitching into them and stuff. It’s kind of different though.

56. Are eyes ever really ugly? If I look at eyes by themselves, they never really look bad to me. Noses can, mouths can, and basically everything can. But eyes? I don’t know. If you just look at the eye, it’s just. I don’t know, unless they have some kind of condition (like how some blind people have blank eyes), they always look good. They are gateways into the soul, after all. They can’t be bad.

57. Even though I’ve just wrote a short blog about this, I feel I need to add something about the death of Michael Jackson here, too. I’ve never really experienced something like this happening before…it’s so horrible. Just, the feeling that they never knew you existed, and never will. I really wish I got to meet him, my sister’s extremely lucky in that respect. I feel so lonely…especially because I’m in the house alone and everything is dark. Nothing to do but write this blog and listen to Michael’s music, over and over again.

58. I keep feeling lately that my dreams are never going to come true, and it’s a horrible feeling (mainly because it’s likely), and I want it to go away. I assure you, it’s just a feeling, not a lifestyle change, if that makes sense. What I mean is that this doesn’t mean I’m like “oh, it’s useless even trying anymore” or something like that. I’m just feeling overly cautious, or something. I don’t know, man; I’m just filling up space again. I’ve probably already talked about this somewhere earlier in this blog.

59. I really wish I could dance. In around year 7 or 8, I really loved dancing, and would learn Michael Jackson routines. I still know some of this stuff, or at least I can still moonwalk, but I mean, I just have no natural movement in me, I think. I think being able to dance well is one of the coolest things on the planet (and dancing terribly is one of the lamest, though it can be pretty damn funny so I guess that cancels it out).

Actually, I’d be happy if I was the undisputed worst dancer of all time, but Samurai Clinton wins that one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GE1Fev_l1hQ

60. I hope I have a massive out of body experience one day, I really want to feel out of this world and spiritual. Maybe I’ll take acid or something, I dunno. The closest I have to this is that I have occasionally had amazing lucid dreams, where you can literally do anything you can think of doing. It’s not something I can control, though (and I mean that in a “not all my dreams are lucid because sometimes I don’t know I’m dreaming” way).

61. Here’s a neat trick I learnt about dreaming. If you are suddenly aware that you’re dreaming, rub your hands together. This makes your brain create the sensation and feeling that your hands are rubbing together, and negates the feeling of you lying in your bed, making you much less likely to wake up. Pretty cool, if you ask me, but if you’re not asking me, then it may not be cool. It may not be cool at all. That would be tragic, yes it would, words words words.

62. Sorry guys, time for another list. It’s the 2^nd of July 2009, half past midnight. This list is my top 10 albums but with only 1 album per artist:

1. Either/Or - Elliott Smith

2. Amnesiac - Radiohead

3. Grace – Jeff Buckley

4. Thriller – Michael Jackson

5. Pink Moon – Nick Drake

6. The Beatles (White Album)

7. Agaetis Byrjun – Sigur Ros

8. In the Aeroplane over the Sea – Neutral Milk Hotel

9. Merriweather Post Pavillion – Animal Collective

10. Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness – Smashing Pumpkins

This is probably the list I’ve been satisfied with the most. Still unsure about the ordering of the last 3, though. I’m also unsure about if I prefer Thriller to Pink Moon, but I probably do.

63. I’m quite annoyed that O’Bzrien is the best thing I’ve made musically. I made that like, I think I actually wrote it over a year ago. I’ve written loads better stuff since then, but I can’t record anything well and I don’t know why.

64. Eughghg* I’m feeling incredibly incredibly lame again. I might have already written something similar to this in a previous fact, but well… I haven’t back read for ages so I’m not sure. So instead of writing about whatever it is I was going to say, (probably about me feeling horribly different and that making me an idiot because me feeling different is all because sometimes I don’t know how interact, and not other people’s fault) I’m just going to write about nothing in particular because, well, I’m using up words etc etc.

I’m also keeping it in because of the “eighths” thing. Which uh, doesn’t make sense to you because you haven’t read that far yet. It’s just below.

*Word just tried to correct this as “Eighths”.

In case you’re dumb, I’m talking about “Eughghg”. You see how it has an asterisk next to it? That means there’s a footnote about it underneath. I stole this from Dom, just like how I stole being boring from Dom. I also use them because, at least for me, they basically serve the same use as parenthesis, but those can sometimes break the flow, y’know? Flow, y’know? Flow, y’know?

65. This is just a promise I am making to myself, quickly. Never have a set amount of words as a goal for a blog, in future. It completely kills all joy in writing a blog*, and makes it a lot more boring for the reader because I do a lot of boring things such as adding more words on purpose, and writing about the blog itself, which surely can’t be interesting. From now on, I blog when I feel like, but maybe at least once a week. That might not make sense, but these could be mega short, like 400 word things.

*Well, actually it doesn’t kill all joy. It does make it more tedious, though.

66. I hope the people who read this don’t just “ctrl f” their name, and that’s it. I’m looking at you, Michael Sandford. JUST KIDDING, I know that you’ll probably read it all* (maybe not all at once, though). I just remember that once, we were both reading Dom’s blog, and Michael said something like “I’m just gonna ctrl f and type my name”, and I laughed, because sometimes I’m guilty of the same thing (but usually, I just do that first, then read the blog. Or I don’t do it at all).

I also don’t know whether to type in “Jack”, “Bz”, “Bzowski”, “Amberz”, “Bizkit”, or “Cunt”. Damn me and my many shitty, shitty nick names.

*and if you don’t I’ll destroy you.

67. Uh oh, look what the previous fact has just inspired; yet another list! Hooray! This time, it’s a list of every nick name I’ve ever had, and I’ll probably add more as I remember more:

Jack the Stripper: This is honestly the first nick name I can remember myself having. That’s kind of fucked up.

Blue Jack: The name given to me by some of my female friends when I was in year 10, to differentiate from the other Jacks. Apparently, it’s because I always wore blue. This crappy nick name led me to create a new name which I was called temporarily, which was:

Sexy Jack: Probably the most accurate nick name I’ve ever had.

Llama boy: Short lived name. It was when I edited a picture of my face in Photoshop, and it looked like a llama.

Stumpy: I actually gave myself this nick name, and it mildly caught on. Called this because my chest is slightly fucked.

Jack Bizkit: I don’t really remember the origin of this entirely, as its source has since been deleted, but Dom called me it when we ruined a poor guy’s new Doctor Who fan series thread.

Jack Ambz / Amberz: I was called this after everyone discovered how I’m the most fashionable person of all time. Alternative answer: originally, I wanted the MySpace url of www.myspace.com/jackbz, but it was taken by a girl named Amber. That’s pretty much it.

“Flex”: Given to me by myself for Dom to call me, because he sucks and I make him call me things. I also added this name in a day after writing all the other names, including the one below.

Jackinwande: My Nigerian name (based of Akinwande). Also Wunhappi Camper.

Jack Bz: I used to write my name like this in Year 2 in primary school, because there was another Jack B in the class. I’m surprised how this stuck. It also says “Jack Bz” inside my first guitar, and that was written by my mum. My aunt’s email also has her first name, and then “bz” at the end. It’s weird because that’s all coincidental; it’s not a natural thing to shorten it to “Bz”.

I guess you could say this was my first nick name, but it wasn’t really a nick name until recently, despite its age. It will probably be my pseudonym if I release music, or art.

68: Thought I’d talk about the stump thing some more. I have a stump on my chest, and I don’t really know what it is. I mean, I know it’s bone, but like…I don’t know. I didn’t notice it until half way through year 10 when I got out of the shower one time, but I think I might have had it before that. I went to the hospital about it, had an x-ray and all that jazz. They ended up saying it’s just the way I am. Ain’t that just sweet? Nope.

It kind of hurts to sleep on my front sometimes because of it, and people have been weirded out by it before. Apart from that, nothing to report. It’s not really noticeable unless I make it so. It’s sexy though.

69. What a significant number. It’s creepy though, how this is a sexual position because of what it looks like. I say this because it’s obviously seen as people lying head to toe to each other etc, but to me, it looks really foetal. Like unborn babies. And it’s a sexual position. I guess that’s all I have to say about that.

70. Now I’m out of the sixties and into the seventies. I guess I should feel more comfortable here, seeing as according to Facebook, the seventies was the decade I should have belonged to. Screw Facebook though, because belonging to one decade sucks; I belong to many.

71. It’s funny, because I consider myself a 90s kid, when I really aren’t*. I mean, I was born in 1992, so I lived 8 years of the 90s (not quite half my life), but most of my favourite childhood memories are from the years 2002/2003. 90s music is probably my favourite in general, though. It’s probably the decade I listen to the most, though a lot of the artists that started out in the 90s that are amazing often perfected their talents during the 2000s, (Radiohead… uh… I guess that’s all I can think of. Third is my favourite Portishead album, I guess. And “From a Basement from the Hill” is better than all of Elliott Smith’s 90s work besides Either/Or).

*Hey dom, I’ve got another addition to “willn’t”. Amn’t!

72. Talking about music to people who don’t like the same stuff as you can often suck. It’s just like…if you don’t know what songs or artists they’re talking about, you can’t really initiate much discussion. And if you know them, and despise them, both of the people talking will probably just frustrated with the other person’s opinion. This is probably really obvious, but it’s still REALLY ANNOYING LOOK AT HOW ANGRY I AM I AM USING UPPER CASE HOLY SHIT MOTHER FUCK YOU CAN TELL HOW ANGRY I AM SO FUMING RIGHT NOW I REALLY DISLIKE YOU hello, friend!

73. This fact is about the Westboro Baptist Church. Words can not describe how much these people suck.

74. 37. This is the number of albums I’ve heard in the “1001 albums you must hear before you die” list. I’d say I was ashamed at how little I’ve heard of it, and that I am a culturally illiterate etc, which could be true, but still, the list can be silly at times! It lists Either / Or (this is good) and Figure 8 as the only Elliott Smith albums, when Figure 8 is reguarded (correctly) by most as his worst album. Debut and no Homogenic, or Post? And Neutral Milk Hotel are just totally absent from the list, as is Madvillain and Bright Eyes and yeah, I guess I just always find these lists stupid because they miss out too much good stuff!

75. Started watching Peep Show since I watched 4 episodes at Fearghall’s thing last Saturday (it’s now Monday the 13^th of July, about 7:30 PM). It’s really, really, really good, but it’s definitely more entertaining to watch with more people, or at least one other person blah blah. I feel like I’m really thoroughly entertained and interested in character development and how situations will turn out rather then how many times I can laugh, but that might be because so far, I’ve only watched it really at times that I can’t laugh out loud (very late at night, I might disturb people). No matter when I watch it, though, I can always enjoy its genius.

76. I love having a sudden, unexplained sense of euphoria.

77. I’m really enjoying Lisa Hannigan’s* debut album “Sea Sew”. It’s a nice folky poppy album, nothing outstanding and it falls in quality towards the end, but it’s still pretty great. I’m definitely more excited about seeing her next Thursday (still Monday the 13^th of July as I write this). So much that I might actually pay Zak for the ticket, which I was bastardingly hesitant to do before because, well, I knew nothing of her. Now that is different! I like her. Update: the gig was pretty great, probably my favourite I’ve ever been to (this might be because I’ve never been to any great ones), mainly because it was a small place and we were near the front.

*Word just tried to correct this to “Shenanigans”. I think that’s an awesome pseudonym, personally.

78. I think marmite adverts (at least the ones in the UK) must be the only adverts in the world that always end in someone being disgusted at the product, often coughing it up disgustingly, or throwing it away. I mean hell, check this out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GoRcU0Ul7tU

And yet these adverts apparently sell? That’s awesome and I can’t think of any other product that’s advertised like this.* I want to make an album and make an advert for it of someone listening to it, turning it off, saying “this is…I dunno, kinda shitty” and then that’s it. I’d be a millionaire.

*Thought of another one. Not quite the same, but the doctor pepper adverts usually resort to someone having extremely bad luck that wouldn’t have happened if he DIDN’T get the doctor pepper. Awesome.

79. I’ve realised that throughout my life, I’ve never had any horrible trauma or hard time I’ve had to go through. The only thing I can think of was I was sad in year 7 because my parents said they were going to get divorced (and it didn’t help that my sister occasionally said it was my fault), but they didn’t, and still live in the same house (though when we move again they probably won’t) so it wasn’t terrible traumatic fighting or anything.

I fear that when I finally do experience something like this that’s inevitable (such as the death of someone I love to death) or something that isn’t guaranteed to happen, like a massive family row that breaks up the family, or something like struggling to survive properly after due to poverty (though I definitely don’t ever see this happening…hopefully) I just won’t be able to handle it well or cope properly. I should probably be grateful that my life has been pretty safe, with the only real causes of grief being weird social things.

80. Woo hoo, we’re in the 80s, that means I’m half way there except I’m even further than that, yay. Dunno what to say about the 80s…yay for Michael Jackson, The Smiths…I think those are the only 80s artists I listen to. Need to get into REM, The Cure, Sonic Youth (only have 1 album and it’s from 1990) and I can’t think of anyone else. I guess the pixies as well.

81. Blogs you should read:

www.tds4a.blogspot.com - Yeah, he neglects it even more than I neglect my blog, but it's still probably my favourite blog ever (or was, I guess?). It inspired me to make my own blog, but unfortunately it also inspired me to try and write really long blogs that take months and months (he could probably do these in a day). I guess his blog might SUCK if you don't know him. In fact, just don't bother reading it.

http://zak-hello.blogspot.com/ - This is the blog of Zak. This blog is good because, so far (though only two entries have been written), I'm in every post. This gives it an automatic edge over other, shittier blogs.

www.projectorheads.com - "Now wait a gosh darn minute" I hear you all say. "This isn't a blogspot blog! In fact, I'd be hard pressed to even call it a blog!". Well, to that I say fuck you, but I also say that it is a blog, with *SECTIONS*. It also used to be a humble little blog on www.projectorheads.blogspot.com. Who knows, maybe my blog will move to a proper website and have *SECTIONS* one day. Who knows? Me, because that will never happen. The most publicity this blog will get is as my msn personal message, or the occasional facebook status.

82. It boggles the mind why there are so many people in this world who are against stem cell research. I can’t even begin to comprehend why people would protest against researching possible cures for cancer, diabetes, Parkinson’s, muscle damage, spinal cord injuries etc. Hell, even baldness and missing teeth. I mean stems cells have already been used to cure blindness in a lot of people.

People protest them because of the use of aborted embryos and foetuses, which is retarded because 1: rather evidently, the foetus is already dead, so it might as well be used for something, and 2: it’s not like banning stem cell research would lower abortions in any way at all. It’s almost as if they’re implying that people get abortions just so stem cell research can flourish. This is absurd.

83. Isn’t it depressing how Muse and their fans have turned into blithering retards? Or at least, it’s gradually become a lot more apparent in recent years. They’ve always been interested in conspiracy theories but up until black holes, they kept them very vague or ridiculously over the top and fun (y’know, origin of symmetry’s matrix-esque newborn). Now every song is about the Illuminati.

84. Dom wants me to talk about The Shawshank Redemption, just so him and Liam can make fun of me behind my back. What a bunch of dicks!

85. Going to be moving again soon, in about a month (as of 27^th August 2009). It’s going to be a bigger house (so that my brother can have a proper room instead of sleeping in the living room or my room or wherever), and still in the same area. It’s still gonna be rented; I wish we could have a house that’s actually ours rather than moving to a new place every 3 years, but what can you do.

86. The counter I have to the right of my blog: I often print screen it when it gets to a certain number, e.g, 1000, 1992 (year I was born), 2000, 2009 (current year, in case you can’t tell). Hell, I think when it got to 1000, I asked Michael Sandford to screen cap it FOR me (cos he managed to be the 1000^th viewer. He should get some sort of prize, like a mention in fact 86 of Jack Bz’s many word blog extravaganza.)

87. I’m going to talk about the last 3 or 4 years of my life (inspired by a little conversation I’m having with Bown at the moment):

2006 (woah, fact 2006 already? I am hilarious): I think things took a slight turn for the better that year. Year 9. I felt for the first time that I had a real best friend since Jamil (person I’m talking about is Oran), and things were ok. I felt SPECIAL because I was leaving, so naturally I got a signed shirt and had a picnic in the park and stuff (I really appreciated that, guys who most certainly aren’t reading this).

It was also the year that I moved house. I really hated that. I remember, on the move, I just felt so shit. I wouldn’t mind if it was for any other reason then money related, but it felt like a massive downer for essentially a new life (new school, new friends, new house). I must stress however that I wasn’t moving anywhere far; I still live in the same area. It was just a much smaller house etc, so essentially it wasn’t bad. At least my room is a lot bigger.

Anyway, school. For the first, um… I’m not sure. Could be days, could weeks. But yeah, beginning of Brit School, I seriously regretted changing to a different school. Badly regretting it, kicking myself from the day I began, thinking I’d left all my old friends behind for no reason. I used to just wonder around aimlessly during break times, using up my time by looking at posters on walls and other boring shit, no joke. It was awful.

Then things started improving. I remember the day things started looking up was when I had my first English class, and sat next to Anthony. We realised that we both had the same pencil case (it was a Bart Simpson one), and I finally had someone to hang out with during lunch, and I got to know some of my best friends through him, or at least be better friends than I would have, e.g. Christian and Micah.

Then the end turned great. I felt happy and I belonged.

2007: Pretty much just continued with greatness. I made a lot more friends, a lot of them girls (which was pretty rare at the time lololol), generally looked forward to school (hadn’t really felt that since year 6). This was the year where I started to get into music again (after officially “quitting” guitar) mainly because of the band Muse, though I don’t listen to them anymore really. I still thank them for it though. This was also an important year for music because I discovered my still going favourite band of all time: Radiohead. It was in October 2007 when they announced that they were giving free downloads to In Rainbows. I didn’t actually download it, but heard every song on MySpace and fell in complete love.

2008: The year things went slightly to shit. My group of friends basically shrunk to about, I don’t know, 6 people, and I have no idea why. It’s one of those things that just happened. I turned kind of…depressed, sort of, in this year. This was the year I started this blog, and the year I wrote in it the most, and it’s most definitely due to the aforementioned melancholy. This was the year I picked up a guitar, and just wrote and wrote and wrote. Massive music discoveries all through out the year, including Elliott Smith (so lots and lots of thanks to Fearghall for that),

I also felt really alienated by the time year 12 started. My best friend left this school, and I’d been separated from my other best friend as we were put in separate art classes, and 90% of my new class were now new people who I didn’t know. It was basically just like being in a new school, except not really, so fuck that. I was glad though, because I was doing music in school for the first time since year 9. I wished the next year would be better for me. I think this was the first year I felt really inexplicably lonely for the first time in my life.

2009: A little better. Made some friends, made some music, and expanded my musical horizons to points previously unexplored. I think I’ve really started re-evaluating my life this year, and my opinions, and I think I’ve grown just a little bit and am smarter and know what I want to do with my life. I’m still a complete coward, though. Often I’ll know what I need to do in a situation, but just won’t, and I don’t know why. It’s crippling. The year’s not over, but I think it’s probably that little bit better than 2008, though a lot of the problems from that year still exist, but to a lesser extent.

88. So I’ve just went on the Blogger home page, and now the logo has a little slice of cake next to it. I assumed it’s blogger’s birthday today, but Wikipedia says a different launch date that I don’t remember. Screw you blogger, I’ve been back on you for at least a week since writing this fact, and there’s still that cake image. It’s either eternally your birthday, or you’ve become a fan of cake or something like that. Whatever, I’m over it.

89. I want to be in a band so much right now. I will be playing my first ever live gig in April, and I’m so terrified and excited. But I mainly want a band on hand so that I can write songs that aren’t just one instrument all the time. I realise a lot of people can do this without the help of a band, but I’m not one of them yet.

90. Wooo, made it to the 90s. The 90s is probably the decade with music I listen to the most, e.g, Elliott Smith, Radiohead, Jeff Buckley, Sigur Rós, The Smashing Pumpkins, Neutral Milk Hotel, Bjork etc etc. Dumb people say that the 90s is when music started to suck (they also say that about the current decade) and well, I guess you could argue that the mainstream quality took a nose dive (endless boy bands, Britney Spears type people, you know I mean) but it’s only true that music took a nose dive if you get your musical opinion from the weekly top 40 or whatever. Secret fact, I’ve written this fact just after writing fact 80. It’s because I can’t think of anything else to write, and even this is boring and uninteresting as fuck.

91. Hahaha, holy shit. Go back and look at fact 3. Just, just LOOK AT IT*. Despite being said in February, it’s exactly what’s happening now, this exact thing. I’m mainly referring to the part at the end, y’know, about me being too scared to not get a useless art degree instead of following anything music related. I am most definitely doing the art thing right now. If only we didn’t have classes in applying for art universities where you have to fill forms and everything. I mean I have classes where I have to apply for an art uni. I feel there’s no way out, but yet it’s entirely my own decision. What the hell is wrong with me?

*Yeah I am making a look at it joke, Adam/Bown. Makes it sound like you’re both one person.

92. I hate the death penalty, and really hate how a lot of people advocate it. There was this girl on this forum that always used to post about how she loves the death penalty, and was watching this documentary about how these men got stoned to death because “they were had committed adultery” (yes that it is how they worded) and that it was a deserved punishment. I actually found the post hilarious and I assure you that she’s not joking (she also thinks the world will end in 2012) but it’s still rather worrying that people think like this

.

I’ve realised I’ve gone off on a tangent and am more complaining about this person rather than death penalty supporters, because I am sure that 99% of death penalty supporters would not support the death penalty for adulterers. I’ll just start with a more general over view now.

Human beings are not “good” or “bad”. To kill someone, you either have to have truly believed that what you’re doing is right, been completely taken over by rage or some other blind emotion, be a sick twisted individual who does it for kicks, or be mentally ill. There are probably more examples, but never mind. Anyway, the “be a sick twisted individual who does it for kicks” option is, arguably, basically the same as the mentally ill option. If someone’s brain doesn’t have the remorse factor attached to their brain, then they’ve probably got a physical problem with themselves, either due to environment or just the way they were born. They do not deserve to have their life ended for this, but should be imprisoned for the remainder of their life as to protect society, and to be possibly be rehabilitated (I say possibly because let’s face it, it might not be possible).

There’s also a thing called human rights, and the right to live. People say that if you’re a murderer, you’ve given up your human rights, which is hilariously retarded. The only thing that makes you human is being human. They’re not called “conditional human rights”, otherwise that would be pointless. Having your human rights taken away implies that you’re not human anymore, which is wrong. Newsflash, murderers are people, they think, they breathe, and they may be fucking disgusting, but they’re still people.

That said, I of course completely understand if you have had someone close to you murdered, and want the murderer to be killed. There’s nothing wrong with that. I’m pretty sure if a family member or close friend of mine was killed, nothing would make me happier than the murderer to be killed. But that’s because I’m filled with anger. It shouldn’t be the law to cater to this anger. When you’re experiencing something like this first hand, all rationality is thrown out the window, and everything comes second to revenge. A justice system based on this is pretty fucking frightening if you ask me.

93. Ok, so I’m reading one of my old blogs (“Man, I really don’t wanna write about this” is the one), and there’s a rather great line that says “I have nothing to talk about recently. How the hell does Dom write 12000 word blogs?”. Well look who’s laughing now, mother fucker. That said, I’m still not at 12000 words as of writing this. If I finish this thing and still haven’t reached the target, I’m just going to fill the whole thing with “Screw Flanders, screw Flanders” over and over again.

I also said “Filling up space sucks unless you're filling up space with something worthwhile...and I'm still doing it, to!”. Looks like I’m still in that bad habit. A lot of things never change, though I guess it’s negated by the fact that I have a word limit.

94. I wonder what to call this blog. The title has been “100 facts about moi” in the title field for a while, but I don’t think that’s going to cut it. I need something cutting edge like “Cut Co”, or “Interslice”. But yeah, Simpsons references aside, I’ll probably call it “Everything you need to know about me” which definitely isn’t true, though. If I could write everything about myself in 12000 words, then I’d be terrified. I might call it “Everything you need to know about me, except there’s lots of stuff that isn’t here so I don’t know”. Sounds pretty damn good to me. I’ve also noticed that I haven’t used labels for my blogs for a very, very long time. This shall be their return. Also: sorry for writing about my blog in my blog again. This will be the very last time…except fact 100 of course, which I already wrote ages ago.

95. I keep thinking to myself that I wouldn’t mind being a farmer and living in the country. I don’t know why, but I just keep thinking of it a lot recently, and I’d probably be awful at it and would never ever actually try to pursue it. But I’d probably feel content. That is if, of course, I didn’t become a hermit, which could very well happen. God, this is definitely the most retarded fact in this whole thing.

96. It’s kind of fucked up how many people have died while I’ve been writing this blog. Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Jade Goody, my own Aunty (though I only met her once when I was very young, which I don’t remember either).

97. Read an old blog from my MySpace, here’s a link:

http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=140044631&blogId=330806427

I’m going to make a new list for this fact, things I need to do. I’m first of all going to include the ones from this blog that I still haven’t done/ that I still care about:

Stop being a coward

Finish flash cartoons such as Lips 4 and other one (replace those with Alien Potato and NOTHING)

Stop being shy about stupid things

I guess that’s it for the “things from previous list that need attention”. Other additions would be:

Record a full album. It doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad, just do it and then learn from mistakes.

Be happy for a long period of time.

98. I have the worst stomach ache I’ve ever had in my life, and I’m pretty sure I’m going to die by tomorrow morning, leaving this blog tragically unposted. Update: I didn’t die, but I tried to leave my bed and literally couldn’t, and it still hurts. I hope it’s not appendicitis or something. My mum had that and was in the hospital for ages, but the worst part was how she kept getting misdiagnosed and given crappy, awful tasting medicine that did fuck all.

99. Problems but the bitch ain’t one.

100. Wow, I’m done. Hopefully after reading this, you feel like you know something more about me as a person. I’m not sure whether to post this anywhere, e.g., make a status on Facebook. I feel like I’ve worked hard enough on it to deserve the attention outside of my 5 followers*, but I’m too embarrassed to put this on Facebook or something (in an attention grabbing way) because some of this blog can be very revealing. I’m just embarrassed of myself, I guess! Got to get that fixed.

*Update: now there’s 6. Josh gets an honourable mention for being the only person to become a follower without me having to ask him to. Oh wait, I think Lachlan did too. They can both be awesome. Ok, since writing this (fuck knows when) I now have 8 followers.

All I can say is that if you read all of this, I probably like you a lot. We should be friends.

Here’s a bonus bit of fun. I’ve actually written this fact after just finishing point 54. There’s some blog trivia for you. Oh, and also, for anyone who got all the way through this, well done! The first person to comment with the secret phrase will get a blog post all about them! The secret phrase is “I really like eating shit. Man, it just gets me through the nights, y’know?”. You also have to put it somewhere in the middle of your comment, and then carry on with the rest of it. Actually, I might not do this, but you’ll be a winner anyway.

Now I’m just writing some stuff so that people who just instantly skip to the bottom because they suck will have something to read. Hey, how’re you? I’m fine, thanks. Also, fuck you.