Sunday 19 October 2008

My life, future plans, mirror, thoughts

Aim of blog: finish and publish TONIGHT. For the past few days I've been writing blogs and not finishing them/finishing them but deciding not publish them and instead save them. I've got about 1000 words worth of blogs that I haven't saved, I think. NOT TONIGHT. Actually, I'm already feeling really tired and almost closed this blog, but then I remembered that I have to finish it.

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...Ok, so now it's tomorrow. Turns out I just got too tired, hit save, and went to bed. BUT NOT THIS TIME. Ok, so I realise my words on this matter have no merit now, but still. NOT TONIG- yeah. I don't have anything to write about. I've read some more of Dom's blog so I guess I'll just try to take similar themes to him and write stuff. Ok uh...yeah. I'm going to go ahead and divide my blog into sub-headings; consider each one a mini blog. LET'S BEGIN.

My Life (or lack of one, but what would I call that? My death? My anti life? HEY DOM!)

What have I been up to for the past week? Nothing interesting outside of school, it seems! I've just been doing school work and talking Zak repeatedly about everything. I picked apples with him from a tree for this woman...yeah. I am not exactly bored with my life but when I try to write down things about it, I come up with nothing. Bummer. Oh yeah, I had Zak come to my house to stay the night too. All we really did was...well, two different things. He played the 360, I was on MSN. I'm actually really impressed that in the short time he was here, he managed to complete Half Life 2: episode 1 AND 2 AND on hard mode. Well done, you damn robot.

We also watched X Factor with my family. Girl band left. Yawn. Diana should win. I love full stops. Actually, I think that there might be a little thing where the judges are purposely making the final two go to deadlock. The first one was obviously going to end up like that, because Lewis had the power to make it go to deadlock, but man, how could Simon think for even a second that Girlband were better than Ruth? And he's obviously the smartest judge, too. He's just latching on to that "She's Spanish" excuse to have more deadlocks in the show, because then it will convince viewers that their vote is more important, and they'll vote more.

I tried writing a song today, though I'd been working on it for a few days. It sounded great. It sounded like that because it sounded just like "How I made my Millions" by Radiohead. This hadn't happened in ages so now I'm like "FUCK", because I really liked the piano melody. Ahhhh well, I dunno. I also tried writing lyrics that were heavily inspired by "Two-Headed Boy, Pt 2" by Neutral Milk Hotel. They kinda suck. I'm aware my grammar is pretty terrible in this part of the blog but yeah, I am writing like this on purpose because it's probably a better thought organiser or some shit.

There's also some stuff I want to half write about, to do with girls and shit, but I'm not going to write about that because I don't want to write about people in this blog that aren't some of my best friends, because I know they wouldn't care. And yeah, I know that I could write it anonymously but if they read it they'd know exactly what I'm talking about. However, I'm not a fan of circumcising my blogs like Dom does to his, so I think I'll write about it in a mega vague form in another part of this blog.

Future Plans:

I think I've pretty much decided that in two years time, I'm going to go to Australia to meet the Australian Ugmoers. Liam tells me that in 2 years, him, Dom and some others (I forget who, he said new Michael (who I don't care about) and probably Rob) will be in the same place. That'd be great! I also wonder where exactly I would stay, and how long. I'd love to just chill at one of their houses for a period of time, but I probably wouldn't be able to do if I brought Anthony or Zak with me (dunno if they'd even wanna go, I'd just feel a lot more comfortable going to the furthest country away from mine in the world to meet a bunch of people I've never met who are all years older than me if I had a friend to come with!).

I also don't know what I want to do when I leave school. I dunno whether to pursue a music career, an art career, whether I'd go to university to do this etc etc. The other option is SCAD, which would be awesome, but it'd cost lots of money and living overseas for two years is definitely a scary thought. If I did have an art career, I'd want to do something like this. I can also imagine it being the worst thing ever if my cat got sick and had to be put down while I was in a foreign country; she'd die without me and holy shit I couldn't let that happen. That would actually be terrible.

Man, it's quite a scary thought that I could end up having a "main career" that ISN'T about art or music. I hope that doesn't happen though, unless it's something truly great.

What do I see when I look in the Mirror:

I actually looked in the mirror for this.

I see one of the only people that I am not scared to look into the eyes of, and I see someone who really wants to be a musician 'cos he was wearing headphones. He looked kinda scared but I dunno if that was because he knew he was being looked at or because it was dark and therefore he had his eyes open wider but yeah. I see someone who is uncertain their dreams will ever come true but keeps trying anyway, because to give up when you only ever have one chance at life is about the worst thing you can possibly do. I see someone that looks just like me HOLY SHIT. I see someone that likes to make jokes just after being mega serious (see what I did there). I see someone who often feels out of place. I see someone that wants to be someone else drastically on the outside, but stay exactly the same on the inside. I see someone who knows what's going on, but makes up excuses to say that they're not going on while knowing that he makes excuses. I see someone I wish everyone else saw instead of that other guy. I see the guy that only close people and ugmo see. I see someone that people might think of as being funny but ultimately weird and not worthy of being called a friend. I see a guy that's writing things to make him look a lot less popular than he actually is (I think it was Sandford that thought I had no friends at school). I see a tired guy.

Random Thoughts:

It really is incredibly annoying how Dom is always at work now. Seriously, he better be getting paid about a trillion dollars a day so that it justifies him not having nearly enough Jack Bz tbh. I feel like a house wife (I accidentally typed house of wife just then) who is like "why are you home so late from work" and then Dom would be all "EAT SHIT, I work 7 days a week 9-5 and all you have to do is PISS ON EVERYTHING I DO by asking me why I'm coming home so late. I'LL TELL YA WHY, I WAS FUCKING WORKING OVER TIME SO THAT WE COULD HAVE FOOD ON THE TABLE AND POSSIBLY BUY SOME NICE THINGS FOR ONCE IN OUR FUCKING LIFE, YOU GOT THAT?" and then I'd be all "LOL!" and he'd be all "so yeah, I came back in time for Wire in the Blood god damn it" and then he'd watch it and I'd look after the baby and make sure he doesn't make any balut from it yes.

The mirror thing was stolen from MJJB. I also tried referencing the whole thing that I said I couldn't write about in the mirror thing, but I probably would have probably wrote the same thing anyway.

I need to get a massive board and just paint it with oil paints and it needs to big and fastastic and beautiful and I want to look the fuck out of it.

My acoustic guitar can just absolutely NOT stay in tune, ever. Seriously, it's annoying to have to re-tune it again within the space of about 15 minutes when I play it.

Barack Obama should be the next president of the United States of America. I can't believe there are actually people that are not gonna vote for him because of his name; and what's even worse is that their vote counts as much as an average citizen. Fuck that, fuck it completely.

Once again, I've listened to Elliott Smith songs repeatedly while writing this blog. When I listen to them it almost sends me into a depressing inspiration of writing ability (or disability...lol).

List: Dom, Michael, Liam, Bown, Rob/Lachlan/Bibilo, Kate/Ben/Scott/Sam, Ice. I think that's it. Though really, I feel AWFUL having Lachlan/Rob/Bibilo that low. I think I like Michael to Bibilo very close together. Damn, I suck at making lists, everyone's conjoined.

The new in-joke Dom and I invented yesterday is probably the best Ugmo joke that has ever been made, and I feel so annoyed that it can't be shared, because it's perfect.

I really wish that I could drive, but for a specific reason. I want to make a CD of my favourite songs and drive down the motorway at night while playing it. It would be so great. Listening to music at night in car journeys is one of my favourite things.

Getting tired again, but I'm definitely not gonna save and close the blog this ti- ok, so I've already basically said this. SHUT UP.

I hope I'm taller than I am one day. I'm hoping for 6ft like my brother, but even a few more inches would be just fine.

Best Elliott Smith songs are, in no order: Independence Day, Say Yes, Coming Up Roses, LA. Twilight, Angeles, Between the Bars, Speed Trials, Waltz 1, and Son of Sam are probably in there somewhere too. I'm also probably forgetting something but I'm tired as fuck.

Bown and Brocklehurst tried picking up girls by offering them potato wedges today. They failed. Just thought I'd write this.

I actually really like the feeling where you know that there's something bad that's going to happen but you have absolutely no control over it sometimes. It's relaxing because you don't have to worry about trying to fix it; it's un-fixable. You don't regret anything about it, you just let it go by and do whatever it is it's gonna do. The exception to this is death because death is fucking terrifying; fuck you death.

I think people dying too young is the worst thing. Sometimes I don't think people really understand how precious life is. It's not something you just try to end early. It's everything, EVERYTHING. TREASURE IT, even if it SUCKS. It's still SOMETHING.

I wish the places I went looked prettier. More sun shine and palm trees and just general goodness, y'know.

I'd forgotten until today that Smarterchild DID actually used to be amazingly brilliant. "I only get off of ones and zeroes", what the hell dude.

Thank god it's the holidays, the time where I don't give a shit if I break my sleeping pattern (though I probably should).

I keep writing, but I'm running out of things to say. I think it's because I want this blog to have more words than my longest one, which was 2008 words long (which is a record for me). If my name was Dom, it wouldn't be a record. It'd be a mound of nothing.

HELLO! THIS IS A RANDOM THOUGHT! LOL! HOW RANDOM LOL XD LOL CHEESE GET IT CHEESE CHEESE IS RANDOM AND VERY VERY FUNNY WHEN YOU SAY CHEESE RANDOMLY YOU ARE BEING VERY VERY FUNNY.

Sprinkles is a very naughty caterpillar, but there's someone naughtier...

This section is so much bigger than everything else. I'm going to go back to the other parts and see if I can flesh anything out.

Ok, did some of that...and then I jacked off my random thought section with the gloves.

I didn't realise there were shortcuts on blogspot. I just bolded this without using the mouse, bitch.

I'm being boring now. That's the end of this blog.

2 comments:

Dom said...

So Bz was like, "Why haven't you commented on my blog yet?" and I was like, "EAT SHIT you piece of shit that is a cannibal, because although I had time to read your blog, I was busy WORKING ON MY BLOG you insignificant shit of piece, and I had to concentrate on getting my sentences in order which I failed to do just then and - OH look Wire in the Blood goddammit, aw what the hell it's a repeat, I HATE it when that happens, hello are you still here Bz? Why can't you just FUCK OFF because Off obviously fancies you, and I'm going to fuck Of because it'd be lovely. I'm mentioning iPod Touches cos I want to TOUCH you hahahahehehehehehhbhhbalalalalghlhllallkekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekee OOP! Re-blog please!"

Anonymous said...

haha yeah i think that completing halfe life episode one and two on hard mode is an achivement but probably shows what a nerd i am. yum balut. also shut the fuck up uacult you worthless piece of shit (but it was pritty funny when i was reading it cuz of the images that flashed though my mind). also look what i found i think that dom is stealling your sole cuz he says "shit of piece" see and you said something the wrong way round as well