Friday, 6 August 2010


This picture, to me, looks like some weird early CGI magical mountain that would've been in a cut scene in one of the PlayStation 1 Final Fantasy games. And yet this is a picture from space! It's funny what computer generated animation has done to my mind. Too often I'll look at an image that is a photo and think in my mind "this looks like CGI". I wonder if that's because graphics are getting closer to reality or because my mind is dumb. Not sure exactly why I say my mind is dumb, rather than just "I'm dumb". I think it's because of the implications, like saying your mind is something rather than yourself implies that you're talking about your subconscious or whatever.

Recently I've been thinking about what the most fulfilling thing is possible to happen in my life. Once I fulfil my dreams I'll just have more dreams to fulfil. I wonder what kind of life style, wealth, situation etc would be the one that makes optimum happiness. Well the answer to that would be in a machine that constantly stimulates the happiness part of my brain, but that's not one I mean, all of you assholes. I always seem to stay on the same level of happiness throughout my life. Actually, that's not true. I was definitely happier when I was 10 years old and all that, and I've actually noticed that my happiness goes in cycles:

September/October I'm usually uncomfortable and generally unhappy, but I get happy and optimistic about something by November, and then by around April I realise that it's not going to happen, and I turn kind of mellow until June, in which I don't really mind anything because I can relax. Sometimes the realisation and mellowing out actually happens much later.

That's pretty much it. I think it's due a lot, in part, to the school cycle. I'm not sure what it's like in the rest of the world (I think school years in Australia start when the year starts, generally), but that's kinda the school start and end cycle over here. But now that I won't be having any kind of education for at least a year, I wonder if my emotional cycle will stay as consistent as it always is. Lol, emotional cycle. My life is one giant period or something.


zak said...

take exstasy already and shut up, but siriosly apparently if you take exstasy you can never be that happy ever agin aparently and it kind of makes you dull when your not on it and you feel blue so don't take it.

zak said...

i'll probably take exstasy before i die though just like a lot of drugs if i am gonna die for sertan then i am gonna try them all

zak said...

well i mean when i a close to death of coures i will die

Anthony said...

The ecstasy is problem the reason Zak is dying.