Wednesday, 20 February 2008

My biggest fear

My biggest fear is death. It has been ever since I was little. I'm terrified by it. One day I won't eat, sleep, talk, walk, play, make things. One day I won't think. That's the scariest part; I can't really imagine me not thinking. I won't even be all "I am dead oh no it's dark", I just won't exist at all.
I remember, in primary school, there was an assembly about peoples' fears. We had to put up our hand and say what scares us, and the teacher would write them on the board. I remember some boy in like year 2 said "death" and the teacher replied with:

"Death isn't something to be feared, because when you die you're reunited with God".

She didn't write death on the board (which was stupid and rude but that's a whole other story). This is the reason death scares me, because most other people in the world believe in God and an afterlife, they believe in heaven and ever lasting happiness. They believe that when you die, someone, somewhere, is waiting for you, and that someone will make you happy for eternity. I believe that when you die, that is it. This is our only chance to ever live, and I don't ever want it to be taken away from me but it will in about 70 odd years (I hope).

There's been lots of coverage in the newspapers about teenagers committing suicide in this little town in Wales. I don't understand this at all. They want to be famous? Who the hell cares about being famous if you're dead? It's like...people don't realise that death is a one way street. They won't get to experience their 'fame' even though it's not fame, it's another 'random teenager is dead' in a newspaper article.

I love life to be honest. I'm healthy, I have a good school, I live in a really great and developed country. I am so grateful that I am not in poverty, hell, I'm grateful that I wasn't born an animal even. I don't want this to just end, ever.

But it will.

1 comment:

Anthony said...

I know, it is actually really hard to think of not living, not thinking at all. It just makes you stop and think, how death sucks : (!