Careers, Friends, and Phallus

I had a cool chat with Liam the other day (Ugmo Liam, not Dolubasao), and well. His advice was basically yes, I should do something about music, but it's good that I'm not doing it academically because it kills off the creative motivation. I agree, pretty much, though I would have liked to have done a GCSE in it, because it wouldn't be too stressful and I'd have some form of proof that I know something about music, y'know? I'm really going off art, not as something for fun, but as a career. I just can't see it happening, but yet, it's the only thing I see happening.

Career in Art?

Ok, I've always been an artist at heart. I've been drawing since I was little, and my biggest gift is painting. Recently, I'm just thinking, art is kinda shit. Well, not really... I'm struggling how to word this. Marketing art is pretty crap, basically. I do a painting, and what happens? It will get put in a large white room and old rich people might look at it and discuss if they want to buy it. Others might walk around and say something like "Wow, that's pretty cool." or "Meh" and walk off, forgetting its existence forever.

I hate that; The thing that I'm best at has become pretty irrelevant at this time. I'm not talking about making money (well, not mainly) because I guess some people MIGHT pay money for my paintings, but that's not really what I'm talking about. I'm talking about proper appreciation for art is gone. The main problem is, art can't be sold to the masses. If I did a painting, I couldn't sell that to everyone like I could an album. Of course, there's exceptions: album covers, comic books, etc. The problem with them is they're not being bought for the art. Albums are bought for the music, comics are bought partially for the art, but mainly the story/characters. I also don't want to do either of those things, really. I'm not a designer myself, and comics do interest me...but not that much. The only way I'd want to draw for a comic would be if it was my own comic, as in, my story, my art, my characters.

Then there's animation, which I'm interested in...but animation is boring. If I had a career in animation I would most likely end up collapsing into myself. I could only ever do it as a free time thing, it's just too tedious. Again, I'd only consider animation if I was in charge of the story and art. I would hate to animate someone else's ideas.

Gah, I feel like I'm typing a bunch of crap that I probably disagree with anyway. Here's a summary:

• People are not moved or concerned by art as they are music

• Art can not be distributed as easily as music, if at all

• Art that can be distributed easily is art that I am not concerned about/being distributed as a side product.

Career in Music?

I'm not gonna list all the positives and negatives of being in a band, because I can't be bothered and it's more obvious. I want to have a career in music as an ideal life choice. It's because my passion for music has outgrown my passion for art. It can evoke emotion much more easily than art can.

The thing about this is, I don't know where to start. I've become bored with guitar music kinda recently, and I want to try more electronic stuff. I'll probably ask Liam for a list of programmes, but really, I'd love to just go to Australia and hang with him and Dom and they can teach me various stuff. That's an annoying thing about my life at the moment, I'm surrounded by talented musicians, but they're not my friends. Well, a few of them are, but they're either much more talented than me or want to make different music to me (or as just as clueless about the music I want to make as I am). But back at Ugmo head quarters, they like the same kind of music I do AND they're experienced at it AND (most importantly) they're actually my friends.

A ray of hope in me having a music career is that Thom Yorke (Radiohead) did a degree in art, I believe. He basically went down the same round as I am, is what I'm saying. But then again, he's a musical genius, one of the true virtuosos of our time, and I'm not (yet? OH OH) so yeah.

Friends

To link into the previous discussion, I'm seeing my friends as different people recently. Well, that's a bad way putting it really. Basically, I'm becoming a gigantic nerd. Recently, I'm reguarding my Ugmo friends as being closer friends than those I have in real life. I've never wanted to meet people that I haven't met more (except I really wanna meet Thom Yorke and give him a great big cuddle). It's weird, because I see Dom as being a friend, and no longer class him as "internet friend", and I do this (but to a lesser extent) to Michael and Liam. It's because, when I really think about it, a lot of my friends I can't relate to. This might be just because they're not interested in the same things, but there's some other more probable reasons:

• I think I get on with older people better than I do my age. I'm not sure why, but I always found it really easy to relate to my older brother's friends (he's 21, 6 years older than me) when they come round than I do to people my own age. Like, it's usually instant that I get along. I'm not sure why, maybe it's because there's less pressure from older people about what they think of you (such as if, for example, I say I don't drink, and older person might attribute that to my age while someone my age would attribute it to me being boring).
• To link to the previous bullet, Ugmo doesn't seem that fixated on alcohol and drugs (except for the occasional story from Ben Rice or someone else). That's being unfair, I'm not entirely against drinking (or drugs for that matter) but when part of people's screen names is "HANGOVER FROM LAST NIGHT!" it just makes me think "Ehhhh". God, then again, do most of my friends even drink/do drugs at all??? I don't know why I'm typing this, because this is something that I find annoying with my age group rather than my friends.
  
• Ugmo has the same sense of humour as me, that being the absurd and the satirical, but also, it's clever. Good timing and referencing is often the thing that will make me laugh the most (which is why Anthony so easily gets me into fits of giggles) and well, Ugmo does this well. It's also in joke heaven, and makes me seem close to the guys. It also satisfies my severe dark humour side, as we make fun of people for...controversial things (I'm sorry Michael, and Dom. Perhaps one day you will both be fashionable).

In short: I'd love to meet Ugmo people RIGHT NOW. I'm gonna talk about something else now maybe!

GCSEs

I don't care about them, but I'm gonna try my best. The worst thing is, by far, my parent's expectations. I'm (not to sound arrogant) gonna do better than 90% of the country in these things, but because my sister did so well, my mum has an obsession with me wanting to out do her. I don't want to. The one thing I'm developing a real passion for I'm not even studying anyway, but yeah. There's no point arguing in them, because if I do, I'll sound like a no life bum that's destined for nothing. It's annoying though, because in the end, it should be about what you learn. The only use for GCSEs are for something to look good on your CV when applying for a job (resumes for those Americans among you. I also don't actually know if Australia says CV or resume or something different).

I mean, I've already been accepted back in school. Why should I care that much, honestly? Just, I do care, but not nearly enough as my mum does. My sister got good A levels and GCSEs and she's more clueless about what to do with her life than I am.

Random stuff (Phallus)

I've recently gotten a DeviantArt account, and I'm already blocked from commenting on someone's pictures. I mean, I give lengthy and honest criticism to his piece of shit (though I was never "mean" as I'm being now about it) and the bugger blocks me. Outrage! I also went on the chat rooms of that site, and subsequently found a girl that loves Radiohead, and not only that, her favourite album is Amnesiac. Awesome. I should invite her to Ugmo perhaps.

God, reading this blog is horrible, I've turned into a giant loser. I've been talking about internet stuff the whole time, because as of now, my life isn't active enough to have anything to write about apart from exams. Sad huh? Anyway...

...I think I've said all I need to say. I want a change in life style and a change in scenery. My bedroom walls are getting pretty boring, as loving as they are.